簡短英文笑話

　　在西方,人們同樣對笑話情有獨衷,許多學者、教士或貴族蒐集了民間的幽默故事,整理成笑話選集,有些甚至流傳至今。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　你認為你有問題嗎

　　And You Think You've Got Problems

　　你認為你有問題嗎?

　　"Boy, have I got problems!" the man said to the psychiatrist.

　　“乖乖，我真的有毛病了!”一位老兄對精神病醫生說道。

　　"Go ahead and tell me about them "

　　“繼續說，告訴我你的問題。”

　　"Well, to start with, I've got an estate in the country,three Mercedes and a luxury yacht. ."

　　“喔，是這樣的，我在鄉下有房地產，另外還有三輛賓士和一艘豪華遊艇。”

　　"So, what's the problem?"

　　"那問題在哪裡呢?"

　　"I only make $ 100 a week!"

　　“我一星期只賺一百塊美金!”

　　篇二

　　我的牙齒好痛喔

　　Now That Hurts

　　我的牙齒好痛喔!

　　The world's cheapest man finally went to the dentist to have his teeth fixed,

　　一個非常吝嗇的守財奴終於去牙科看牙齒。

　　"Well, sir," said the dentist,

　　“先生，”牙醫說道，

　　"I'm afraid you've waited too long to get these teeth attended to. They'll all have to come out.”

　　“恐怕你拖得太久了，這些牙齒都要拔掉才行。

　　"How much will that cost?" inquired the skinflint.

　　“那得花多少錢?，’小氣鬼問醫生。

　　"A thousand dollars. "

　　“一千塊美金。”

　　Here 's a hundred ,"said the tightwad ,"Just loosen them up a bit.""

　　“這裡是一百塊，”吝嗇鬼說。“只要稍微把它們鬆動一點就好

　　篇三

　　Sounds Fair

　　聽起來還算公平

　　A woman was reporting to her husband about the events of the day.

　　一位女士正滔滔不絕地向她先生訴說當天發生的事。

　　"Oh, and I had a big fight with the electric company.

　　“哦，另外我也和電力公司大吵了一架!”

　　"Really? Who won?"

　　“真的嗎循來誰贏了?”

　　"Nobody, it was a tie. They don't get any money and we don't get any electricity.

　　“沒有人贏，算扯平吧。他們沒拿到一毛錢，而我們也沒有電可用。”

　　篇四

　　Could You Hurry It up a little ?

　　你能不能快一點?

　　A man and his wife were cleaning out the attic when the husband found an ancient receipt.

　　一對夫婦正在清理閣樓，這時先生髮現一張過期很久的舊收據。

　　"Hey, Nancy, look at this. It's a receipt for a pair of shoes I left to be repaired and never picked up.It's eleven years old."

　　“嘿，南茜，你過來看看這個，這張是以前皮鞋送修的收據，我忘了去拿回來，足足有十一年之久了!”

　　"You know, that shoe repair shop is still there," replied the wife.

　　“那間鞋店不是還在那裡嗎?”妻子回答。

　　"Why don't you just drop in there and hand him the receipt as if it were nothing unusual. "

　　“為什麼不跑一趟，把收據交給他，就當作沒事發生一樣?"

　　And that is what the husband did.

　　先生去了那家鞋店。

　　Quietly the cobbler went to the back of his shop and poked around a bit,

　　鞋匠靜靜地走到後頭，東翻西翻了一會兒之後，

　　came back to the counter and said "They'II be ready next Tuesday. "

　　回到櫃檯說道：“下星期二才能修好!”