世紀爆笑英文笑話大全

　　笑話作為一種城市化的民間口頭創作體裁,是一種重要的交際手段。笑話可能只是文字遊戲,但有時它在人們解決生活中的困惑時起著重要作用。下面是小編帶來的世紀爆笑英文笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　世紀爆笑英文笑話篇一

　　The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who sought advice on a health problem.

　　"Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.

　　"Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice."

　　"Thanks," the physician said. "I think I'll do that."

　　When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found a letter from the lawyer. It read:

　　"For legal services, $50."

　　昂貴的建議

　　大夫在打發走了一個就健康問題向他諮詢的婦女之後，最後來到餐桌上。

　　“你認為我應該向她收費嗎?”大夫問坐在身邊的一個律師。

　　“有什麼不應該?”律師答道，“你通過提建議提供了職業性服務。”

　　“謝謝，”大夫說道，“看來我得這麼做。”

　　第二天當大夫去辦公室給那位婦女寫賬單時，他收到律師的一封信。信中寫道：

　　“請付法律服務費50美元。”

　　世紀爆笑英文笑話篇二

　　Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸

　　A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance.

　　He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday."

　　A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location."

　　"I-75, two miles south of Standish."

　　After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"

　　在休倫湖釣完魚後，我的一個朋友開車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。他沒帶手機，不過，他想，也許他可以通過海事無線廣播來請求公路援助。

　　於是，他爬到他的船裡面，啟動了無線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。

　　一名海岸護衛隊警官作出了迴應，“報告你的位置”。

　　“I-75號公路，Standish的南面兩英里”。

　　沉默了好一會之後，警官問我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時開得有多快?”

　　世紀爆笑英文笑話篇三

　　The Doctor Knows Better 醫生懂得多

　　A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who wasstanding up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

　　"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.

　　Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."

　　"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

　　一個男人在街上被計程車撞倒送進了醫院。他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。”

　　醫生說：“恐怕他已經死了。”

　　聽到醫生的話，這個男人轉動著頭說：“我沒死，我還活著。”

　　妻子說：“安靜，醫生比你懂得多。”

　　世紀爆笑英文笑話篇四

　　The Fourth Element 第四元素

　　The Fourth Element

　　Teacher: What are the four element of nature?

　　Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ...

　　Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with?

　　Student: Soap!

　　第四元素

　　老師：自然界的四大元素是什麼?

　　學生：火、氣、和。。。和。。。

　　老師：和什麼?想一想， 你用什麼洗手的?

　　學生：肥皂。

　　世紀爆笑英文笑話篇五

　　Friend for Dinner

　　Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.

　　What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!

　　I know all that.

　　Then why did you invite a friend for supper?

　　Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.

　　請朋友吃飯

　　“親愛的，”丈夫對妻子說：“我邀請了一位朋友回家吃晚飯。”

　　“什麼?你瘋了嗎?我們的房子亂糟糟的，我很久沒有買過東西回來了，所有的碗碟都是髒的，還有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚飯。”

　　“這些我全都知道。”

　　“那你為什麼還要邀請朋友回來吃晚飯?”

　　“因為那個可憐的笨蛋正考慮要結婚呢。”