英語冷笑話簡單帶翻譯

　　政治笑話採用一種幽默與諷刺相結合的方式,從本質上講,它屬於“政治言論的符號空間裡的邊緣層”。下面小編整理了，希望大家喜歡!

　　品析

　　An Adult Decision

　　The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, but Irefused to sign permission for one. He argued that soon he would be a man and he should beable to make adult decisions. Sure enough, a few days after his 18th birthday, he come homewith a tattoo. Although I was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol ofmasculinity he had chosen. There, on his shoulder, was a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse.

　　成年人的抉擇

　　我兒子十八歲前的那一年，他常常向我提出准許他文身。但我拒絕允許他這樣做。他爭辯說他不久就要成為男子漢了，並說他應該能夠作出成年人的抉擇了。果然，十八歲生日的幾天後，他文了身，回到家裡。儘管我對此感到不高興，但出於好奇，我想看看他選擇了什麼雄性象徵物。原來是他在肩上文了一個兩英寸長的米老鼠像。

　　經典

　　You're Not Going to Make it

　　Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.

　　"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.

　　On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"

　　"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it."

　　你活不成了

　　一個人得了重病，妻子伴隨他去看醫生。檢查過後，醫生示意病人的妻子到走廊見他。

　　“你丈夫病得很重，”醫生說，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要營養美味。第二，給他一個輕鬆的環境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都對他傾注熾熱的愛。”

　　在驅車回家的路上，丈夫問道：“醫生說了什麼?”

　　“很遺憾，”妻子說，“你活不成了。

　　關於

　　What Will Be the Headline

　　When a man in Macon, Ga. , came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbedthe animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated theman and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by KillingVicious Animal. "

　　The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon.

　　"Well, then," the reporter said, the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by KillingDog. '"

　　"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."

　　"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read ,'Yankee Kills Family Pet.'"

　　標題是什麼

　　一位男子在喬治亞州的麥根城遇到一條狗在襲擊一個男孩。他敏捷地用兩手卡住了狗的脖子並掐死了它。一位記者目睹了這件事，向這位男子表示祝賀並說次日的新聞標題將是：“本地男子殺惡畜救孩童”。

　　然而，這位英雄卻告訴記者他不是麥根人。

　　“那麼，”記者說，“標題可能為‘喬治亞男子殺狗救孩童’”.

　　“實際上，”那男子道，“我是康涅狄格人。”

　　“這樣的話，”記者怒氣衝衝地說，“標題將是‘北方佬殺死家庭愛犬’”

　　欣賞

　　I'm a police officer

　　When my husband, Jack, was a police officer, he once approached a home guarded by two ferocious dogs. They lunged at the screen door with such force that it opened, and they tore out into the yard.

　　Thinking quickly, Jack, stepped into the house, closing the door tightly behind him. " It's all right, ma'am," he reassured the homeowner " I'm a police officer."

　　"Not a very brave one," 'she observed.

　　我是警察

　　在我丈夫傑克還是警察的時候，一次他走近有兩隻惡狗看守的庭院。那兩隻狗奮力地撲抓紗門，把門弄開了並衝到院子裡。

　　傑克反應迅速，三步並兩步地跨入房子裡，牢牢地關上身後的門。“沒事了，女士，”他安慰家主道，“我是警察。”

　　“可不是很勇敢的一個。”她淡淡地說。

　　品味

　　A Tough Teacher

　　A school teacher friend of mine injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around theupper part of his body. On his first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he wasassigned to teach the most undisciplined class. Stepping confidently into the rowdyclassroom, he opened the window as wide as possible. Just then, a strong breeze made his tieflap. Trying to fix the tie , he took a blackboard eraser and hammered a large tack through histie into his chest.

　　He had no trouble with discipline that term.

　　強悍的教師

　　我有一位作教師的朋友弄傷了他的背，因此上身不得不穿石膏罩。開學的第一天，他的身上還穿著石膏罩。他被分派教最不守紀律的班級。他很自信地步入亂哄哄的教室，把窗子儘可能大地開啟。就在這時，一陣強風把他的領帶吹得飄起來。為了固定領帶，他拿起黑板擦，把一個大頭釘透過領帶砸入他的胸膛。

　　那學期在他的課上，沒有不守紀律的。