十萬個冷笑話英語精選

　　在以往對冷笑話的理解中，冷笑話是一類失敗了的笑話，很少有人能在第一時間真正理解這一類笑話。下面是小編帶來的十萬個冷笑話英語，歡迎閱讀!

　　The Beat Salesman in the World

　　Harry saw an ad in a window. It said: "Wanted. The Best Sales- man in the World. Top Pay."

　　" I' m a great salesman." Harry told himself." I can sell anything. I'll go in and ask for that job."

　　He went into the building and spoke to the manager.

　　"I'm the best salesman in the world," he said. "Give me the job. "

　　"You must prove you're the best," the manager said.

　　"I'll pass every test you give me." Harry told him.

　　"Good."

　　The manager took a box of candy out of his desk .

　　"Last week, I bought a thousand boxes of this candy. If you can sell them all before the end of the week, you can have the job.

　　"That's easy," Harry said.

　　He took the box of candy and left the office.

　　Every day and all day, he went from shop to shop, trying to sell boxes of the candy .

　　He couldn't sell one.

　　The candy was so bad he couldn't even give it away.

　　At the end of the week he went back to the manager.

　　"I'm sorry, sir, " he said," I was wrong about myself . I'm not the best salesman in the world, but I know who is.

　　"Oh," said the manager. "Who?"

　　"The person who sold you a thousand boxes of this candy, " Harry said.

　　Notes:

　　***1*** candy n. 糖果

　　***2*** give away贈送

　　Exercises:

　　根據短文選擇正確答案：

　　① The manager told Harry_____ .

　　A. he was the best salesman in the world

　　B. he wasn't a good salesman

　　C. he had to show how good he was

　　D. he could start work immediately

　　② Harry could have the job if_____ .

　　A. he sold a thousand boxes of candy

　　B. he sold a hundred boxes of candy

　　C. he gave away two hundred boxes of candy

　　D. he gave away a thousand boxes of candy

　　③ Harry could not sell the candy because_____ .

　　A. he was a very bad salesman

　　B. the candy was very bad

　　C. he did' t try to sell it

　　D. nobody liked candy

　　④ Who was the best salesman in the world?

　　A. Harry

　　B. the manager

　　C. nobody

　　D. the man who sold the candy to the manager

　　⑤ So we can infer from the story that_____ .

　　A. Harry got the job

　　B. Harry wasn't accepted by the manager

　　C. Harry was very stupid

　　D. the manager was very clever

　　世界上最好的售貨員

　　哈里在櫥窗上看到一則廣告。上面寫著：“招聘世界上最好的售貨員，報酬優厚。”

　　“我是一名了不起的售貨員，”哈里自言自語，“任何東西我都能賣出去，我要進去應聘這份工作。”

　　他走進大樓去和經理說這件事。

　　“我是世界上最好的售貨員，”他說，“把這件工作給我吧。”

　　“你必須證明你是最好的，”經理說。

　　“我會通過你給我的每一次考驗的。”哈里告訴他。

　　“好。”

　　經理從桌子裡取出一箱糖果。

　　“我上星期買了一千箱這種糖果。如果你能在週末之前把這些全賣出去，你就能得到這份工作。”

　　“這很簡單。”哈里說。

　　他拿著這箱糖果離開了辦公室。

　　每天從早到晚，他從這家店走到那家店，竭力想賣出一千箱糖果。

　　結果他一箱也沒賣出去。

　　糖果質量太差，以至於送人都沒人要。

　　週末他回去見經理。

　　“很抱歉，先生，”他說，“我搞錯了。我不是世界上最好的售貨員，但我知道誰是最好的。”

　　“哦，”經理問，“是誰?”

　　“是把這一千箱糖果賣給你的人，”哈里說。

　　練習參考答案：

　　①C②A③B④D⑤B

　　十萬個冷笑話英語閱讀

　　A Boy with a Big Head

　　A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head."

　　"Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes."

　　"Where is the shopping bag?"

　　"I haven't got one-use your hat

　　Notes:

　　***1*** make fun of取笑;嘲弄

　　***2*** shopping bag購物袋

　　Exercises:

　　根據短文判斷下列句子正***T***、***F***：

　　① The boy was complaining to his mother.

　　② Children made fun of him because he had a beautiful head.

　　③ The mother was angry when she heard what her son had told her.

　　④ The mother couldn't find their shopping bag.

　　⑤ The boy did have a big head .

　　大頭娃娃

　　一個小男孩向他母親哭訴道：“他們都取笑我，說我腦袋大。” “別聽他們的，”他母親安慰道，“你有一個很漂亮的腦袋。好啦，別哭了，去商店買十斤土豆來。”

　　“購物袋在哪兒?”

　　“沒購物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”

　　練習參考答案：

　　①T②F③F④T⑤T

　　十萬個冷笑話英語學習

　　The Choice of Word

　　One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said "Da-Dy" to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word "Dady" to teach their baby.

　　During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry "Dady". His wife said to him, "Darling, she is calling you." Then she turned to sleep.

　　Notes:

　　***1*** shake v.搖晃

　　***2*** wake up喚醒;吵醒

　　Exercises:

　　根據短文填空：

　　① John was back home _____work.

　　② He found his wife was _____their daughter who was only half a ear old.

　　③ She said "Da-Dy" _____ the baby many times.

　　④ During on night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken _____ by the cry "Dady".

　　⑤ Then she turned _____sleep.

　　選詞

　　一天下班回家，約翰發現妻子在搖半歲的女兒，嘴裡反覆念道：“爸-爸。”約翰心裡感到美滋滋的，他的妻子選擇了“爸爸”這個詞首先教孩子。

　　幾周後的一天夜裡，約翰和妻子被一陣哭聲驚醒了，“爸-爸!”“她在叫你，親愛的。”妻子說，然後翻身竟自睡了。

　　練習參考答案：

　　① after ② shaking ③ to ④ up ⑤ to