關於長篇英語笑話欣賞

　　笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。小編精心收集了關於長篇英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　關於長篇英語笑話篇1

　　A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

　　"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."

　　"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

　　"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."

　　"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

　　A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

　　"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell,"I'm the groom."

　　在一個小鎮裡，一個警官攔住了一個在主街道上超速行駛的騎摩托車者。

　　“但是，警官，”這個男人開口說，“聽我解釋，”

　　“安靜，”警官打斷了他，“我要讓你到監獄裡做冷板凳，一直到長官回來。”

　　“但是警官，我只是想說…”

　　“我說過了，安靜，你將要下監獄!!”

　　幾個小時之後，警官看著他的犯人說，“你足夠的幸運，長官正在參見他女兒的婚禮，當他回來的時候一定心情不錯。”

　　“別指望了，”監獄裡的夥計說，“我就是新郎。”

　　關於長篇英語笑話篇2

　　The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.

　　As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."

　　Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　牧師非常生氣，因為總有一個人在他說教時打瞌睡。

　　一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個人又在瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在佈道時睡覺。於是他低聲對信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當然，除了那個打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請坐後，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請站起來!”

　　打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看著他。這個人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們在選什麼，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”

　　關於長篇英語笑話篇3

　　All the housewives who went to the new supermarket had one great ambition: to be the lucky customer who did not have to pay for her shopping. For this was what the notice just inside the entrance promised. It said: "remember, once a week，one of our customers gets free goods. This may be your lucky day!”

　　所有去新開張超市的主婦都有一個美好的願望:成為一個購物不用交錢的幸運顧客。因為這是***處的一則商店啟事所承諾的。上面寫著:“請記住，每週有一位顧客可以免費購物。今天也許就是您的幸運日!”

　　For several weeks Mrs. Edwards hoped, like many of her friends, to be the lucky customer. Unlike her friends, she never gave up hope. The cupboards in her kitchen were full of things, which she did not need. Her husband tried to advise her against buying things but failed. She dreamed of the day when the manager of the supermarket would approach her and say，"Madam, this is your lucky day. Everything in your basket is free.”

　　正像她的許多朋友一樣，有好幾個禮拜，愛德華太太都在盼望著自己會是那位幸運顧客。跟朋友不同的是，她從來不放棄這種期望。家裡廚房的碗櫃中都塞滿了她並不需要的東西。她的丈夫勸她不要亂買東西，但是她不聽。她夢想著有一天超市的經理走到她的面前對她說:“夫人，今天是您的幸運日，您籃子裡的每樣東西都是免費的。”

　　On Friday morning, after she had finished her shopping and taken it to her car, she found that she had forgotten to buy any tea. She dashed back to the supermarket, got the tea and went towards the cash desk. As she did so, she saw the manager of the supermarket approach her. "Madam，”he said, holding out his hand, "I want to congratulate you! You are our lucky customer and everything you have in your basket is free”

　　一個週五的早晨，她在採購完把東西放進車裡後，發現自己忘記了買茶葉。她快步回到超市，取了茶葉後走向收銀處。正在此時，他看到商店的經理朝她走來，“夫人，”說著他伸出手來，“我要恭喜您!您是我們的幸運顧客，您籃子裡的所有東西都是免費的。”