最經典的英文笑話短文

　　在交際場合,能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創一個幽默,不僅可以體現自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：You Do Have a Problem

　　你真是有問題了!

　　A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to the bathroom.

　　一位老兄對醫生說明他上廁所有困難。

　　"Do you urinate in the morning?" asked the doctor.

　　“你早上有小便嗎?，’醫生問他。

　　"Yeah, every morning at six o'clock. "

　　“有，每天早上六點鐘。”

　　"And how are your bowel movements?"

　　“那大便情況如何?"

　　"Seven o'clock every morning, just like clockwork. "

　　“像時鐘一樣，我每天準時七點鐘上大號。”

　　"So what's the problem?"

　　“那問題到底出在哪裡呢?"

　　"I don't get up until eight. "

　　“我八點鐘才起床。”

　　：爬得越跌得越重

　　The Bigger They Are the Harder They Fail　

　　The psychiatrist was a bit perturbed. He had cured his patient of his delusions but still the mandid not seem happy.

　　一位心理醫師感到有些厭煩。他已治好一名病人的幻想症，但那名患者似乎仍然不快樂。

　　"What's the matter, Mr. Jones?" he inquired. "Aren't you glad to be dealing with the worldrealistically?"

　　“到底是怎麼一回事，瓊斯先生?”他詢問道。“難道你不喜歡踏實地面對周圍的一切嗎?”

　　"Oh, sure. Doc, sure .... Only, last year I was Genghis Khan and now I' m nobody ! "

　　“喔，是的，醫生，我是很願意。只是去年我還是成吉思汗，現在我成了無名之輩!”

　　：誰在放屁?

　　Okay, Who Cut the Cheesee?

　　A young man was visiting his girlfriend's parents for the first time.

　　有位年輕人第一次去拜訪女朋友的父母親。

　　He had been quite nervous about it, and his nervousness was manifesting itself as gastric distress.

　　他好緊張，緊張到腸胃不舒服。

　　Agonizingly, he felt the urgent need to release some intestinal gas.

　　令人苦惱的是，他急著要排除腸內的空氣。

　　Surreptitiously, he emitted a "silent but deadly. "

　　於是他放了個臭得要命的悶屁。

　　"Rover! " the girlfriend's mother admonished.

　　“路寶!”女朋友的媽媽警告家裡的狗。

　　The young man realized that the family dog was sitting under his chair, and saw a way out of his difficultieis.

　　那個老兄知道他女朋友家的狗就坐在他椅子下，想出了一個解決難題的方法來。

　　Desperately seeking relief, he let out a Larger hooter.

　　他急於舒解，便放了一個更大的響屁。

　　"Rover!" shouted the mother.

　　“路寶!”媽媽又一次叫著她家的狗。

　　Thinking his problems were over for sure, the young guy emitted a real window rattler.

　　年輕人以為他的問題已經結束了，於是他放了一個連窗戶都為之振動的大響屁。

　　"Rover ! " cried the mother, "get over here before he shits on you."

　　“路寶!”媽媽喊道，“快過來這邊，免得他在你身上拉屎!”