最經典的英語笑話大全

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆。與此同時,笑話也是人們反對極權和專制制度的有力武器。小編整理了最經典的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　最經典的英語笑話篇一

　　Charity Begins at Home

　　慈善應由家中做起

　　Sam Sidney was going door to door selling raffle tickets to raise funds for the charitable organization of which he was a member.

　　山姆，希德尼正挨家挨戶推銷他所屬的一家慈善機構的彩券以籌募基金。

　　One morning found him knocking on the door of old Mrs. Sullivan.

　　有一天早上他敲了蘇利文太太的門。

　　"Good morning, Mrs. Sullivan, I represent the South Savannah Singing and Social Society" said Sam.

　　“您早!蘇利文太太，我是代表南方薩瓦那音樂及公關協會的。”

　　"What's it that you say?" croaked the old lady.

　　“你說什麼啊?，’老太太大聲問道。

　　"I SAY I'M SELLING RAFFLE TICKETS FOR THE SOUTH SAVANNAH SING-ING AND SOCIAL SOCIETY ! "

　　“我說我正為南方薩瓦那音樂及公關協會賣彩券!”

　　"Eh?"

　　“哦?”

　　"RAFFLE TICKETS! SOUTH SAVANNAH SINGING AND SOCIAL SOCIETY! "

　　“彩券!南方薩瓦那音樂及公關協會!”

　　"You'll have to speak up, young man, there's no use mumbling.

　　“你應當說大聲點，年輕人，喃喃低語是沒用的。”

　　"Well, fuck you, Mrs. Sullivan," said Sam under his breath as he turned away.

　　“喔!去你的，蘇利文太太!”山姆離開時屏氣說。

　　Mrs. Sullivan closed the door and said, "Well, fuck the South Savannah Singing and Social Society. "

　　蘇利文太太關門說道： “***的，南方薩瓦那音樂及公關協會!”

　　最經典的英語笑話篇二

　　Put Yourself in My Place

　　設身處地替人想一想

　　Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse,

　　某一農場上，老媽要老爸去修理茅房。

　　Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Mom.

　　老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回來了。

　　"There ain't nothin' wrong with that shithouse, Mom. "

　　“那個茅房什麼問題也沒有啊，孩子的娘。”

　　Mom took Dad back to the out house and stuck his head down in the hole.

　　老媽將老爸帶回茅房，把他的頭塞進茅坑當中。

　　"Hey," said Dad, "my beard is stuck!"

　　“嘿!”老爸說道，“我的鬍子粘住了!”

　　"Aggravatin', ain't it?"

　　“問題嚴重了，是不是呢?”

　　最經典的英語笑話篇三

　　A Satisfied Gustomer

　　一位心滿意足的客戶

　　A rough looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.

　　有一位相貌粗魯的傢伙走進銀行對櫃檯職員說:

　　"I wanna open a god-damned checking account. "

　　“我想開個***的活期存款賬戶。”

　　"CertainLy, sir," replied the young lady, “but there's no need to use that kind of language."

　　“當然可以啦，先生，”年輕的小姐回答說，“但沒有必要使用那種字眼。”

　　"Hey, get your ass in gear, will ya? I'm in a hurry.

　　“嘿，***的能不能快一點嗎?我在趕時間呢!”

　　"Sir, I’m not used to being spoken to in that way. "

　　“先生，我不習慣別人那樣子對我說話。”

　　"I wanna open a fucking checking account, and I want to do it now, understand?"

　　“我要開一個××的活期存款賬戶，而且要現在就辦，懂了嗎?”

　　"Sir, I'm going to get the manager," said the indignant young lady.

　　“先生，我去找經理來。”氣憤的年輕小姐說著。

　　Soon she returned with the manager, a dignified white haired gentleman who asked, "Whatseems to be the trouble, sir?"

　　不久她帶了經理回來，那位滿頭白髮、看起來很莊嚴的老先生問道：“先生，到底有什麼問題嗎?

　　“I just won $10,000,000 in the lottery, and I want to open a goddamn checking account. "

　　“我剛中彩券得了一千萬美元，我想開個***的活期存款賬戶。”

　　"I see," said the manager warmly. "And this bitch is giving you trouble?"

　　“我知道了，”經理說道，“而這個臭婊子在給您添麻煩，是吧?”