最經典的短英文笑話閱讀

　　笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強,普遍存在於人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進身體健康。小編分享最經典的短英文笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　最經典的短英文笑話：And Stuff the Cuffs in Your Boots

　　把褲腳塞到你的靴子裡面去

　　The untried general faced battle the next day, and was more than a little frightened.

　　一位未曾有過作戰經驗的將軍非常惶恐，因為第二天將有個戰役要面對。

　　Seeking inspiration, he looked into the history of great commanders and learned that Wellington had always dressed in red for battle,

　　為了尋找靈感，他翻查了歷年來偉大將領的檔案，發現威靈頓將軍每次戰鬥中都身穿紅色衣服，

　　so that his men would not realize if he were shot.

　　萬一他被射傷的話，他的士兵也不會發現。

　　Instantly he called in his adjutant and ordered a pair of trousers in a rich, dark brown.

　　於是他傳了副官進來並指示手下做了一條深褐色的褲子。

　　最經典的短英文笑話Keep Your Head

　　頭腦要保持冷靜!

　　A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer askedhim for half a head of cabbage.

　　有一個年輕人在一家雜貨店的農產部門工作，一天一位顧客要向他買半顆包心菜。

　　"Sir, we don't sell half heads of anything. "

　　“先生，我們東西都沒有賣半顆的。”

　　"Well, I insist, I 0nly want half a head. "

　　“哎呀，我就買半顆，我只要半顆。”

　　"I'll ask the manager. "

　　“我要問問經理才行。”

　　The young man walked to the manager's office and, not realizing that the customer hadfollowed him, said to the manager,

　　那名年輕人走到經理的辦公室，不知道那位顧客尾隨著他，他對經理說道：

　　"Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage. "

　　“經理，有個渾蛋只要買半顆包心菜。”

　　Turning and noticing the customer, he quickly added,

　　他轉身發現那名顧客，立刻又補充說：

　　"And this gentleman wants the other half. "

　　“而這位先生要買另一半。”

　　Later, the manager took the young man aside and said,

　　稍後，經理把他拉到一旁說道：

　　"That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higherposition opening up, I'll keep you in mind. "

　　“年輕人，你反應真快。我們需要像你這麼聰明的人，如果有較高的職位空缺，我會記得你的。”

　　Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager'sspot had become vacant in the company's store in Edmonton.

　　幾個星期之後，經理告訴那名年輕人在艾得蒙敦分店有個經理的職位空缺。

　　"Edmonton!" blurted out the young man. "Why, there's nothing in Edmonton but hookers andhockey, event hockey players，

　　“艾得蒙敦!”年輕人叫了出來，“那兒有的只是妓女和曲棍球選手而已。”

　　"Young man , my wife happens to come from Edmonton! "

　　“年輕人，我太太剛好來自艾得蒙敦!”

　　"No kidding, sir? what posltion does she play?"

　　“真的嗎?經理，那她是打哪一個位置呢?”

　　最經典的短英文笑話：Home Sweet Home

　　還是家裡好

　　A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.

　　一位外科醫生剛從非洲狩獵回來。

　　"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.

　　“這次打獵順利嗎?”同僚問道。

　　"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.

　　“喔，實在太令人失望了，”外科醫生答道。

　　"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "

　　“我什麼也沒獵殺到，實際上，還是待在醫院裡比較有成就感。”