有關簡短英文笑話閱讀

　　在交際場合,能恰到好處地講個英語笑話或自創一個幽默,不僅可以體現自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。小編精心收集了有關簡短英文笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　有關簡短英文笑話：Magic Cure

　　Two nurses are giving a woman in a coma1 a sponge bath. They notice that when they get near her private areas that she starts to get a little stimulated2. The theorize that oral sex will bring her out the coma. They go out into the lobby and tell her husband their theory. The husband is a little aprehensive about it at first, but he agrees to do it. The nurses leave the man with his wife and give him some privacy. They come back about 10 minutes later and the woman is dead! "What happened?" asks one of the nurses. The man replies, "I dont know...I think she choked."

　　有關簡短英文笑話：At The Dentist

　　A man and wife entered a dentist's office.

　　The Wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."

　　You're a brave woman said the dentist. Now, Show me which tooth it is.

　　The wife turns to her husband and says "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."

　　有關簡短英文笑話：Purifying Water

　　A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter. He asks the first nun, "Sister Karen have you ever had any contact with a penis???"

　　The nun giggles and replies, "Well, once I touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."

　　St Peter says OK, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gate.

　　St Peter asks the next nun the same question. "Sister Elizabeth have you ever had any contact with a penis.."

　　The nun is a little reluctant but reply's

　　"Well I once fondled and stroked one..

　　St Peter says, "OK dip your hand in the holy water and pass through the gate..."

　　All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the

　　line of nuns. One nun is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St Peter says "Sister, what seems to be the rush???"

　　The nun replys "If I'm going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to go before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!!!"

　　有關簡短英文笑話：Under The Table

　　John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away, noticed that John was ever so slowly sliding down his chair under the table while Mary acted unconcerned.

　　Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, Mary appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that John had disappeared under the table.

　　After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman,

　　"Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

　　The woman calmly looked up and replied firmly, "Oh, no. He did not. In fact, he just walked in the front door."

　　有關簡短英文笑話：Advice For Women

　　Advice From Men To Women...

　　Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'...

　　If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it....

　　Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one....

　　Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials....

　　Please don't drive when you're not driving....

　　Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline....

　　The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference!...

　　When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine.