關於最幽默的英文笑話

　　冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網路為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳於網頁，微博，貼吧等。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Improving Fry Cooking Time

　　In January 1994, 'The Economist' magazine reported that one of Secretary of Energy Hazel O'Leary's success stories about government research scientists hired out for civilian business uses was the Argonne National Laboratory's helping McDonald's to find a way to speed up french frying. A team headed by physicist Tuncer Kuzay, who interrupted his work on advanced photons, placed sensors inside the frozen fries and was able to design special frying baskets to deal with the effect of steam created by melting ice crystals and to cut 30 to 40 seconds off each batch's frying time.

　　：Escaped Convict

　　An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.

　　As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!"

　　"Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me that he thinks you're really cute!"

　　：Blonde And Doctor

　　Mother was scolding the daughter, "I don't like the guy you are going out with. He looks toodumb!"

　　"No Momma," she said, "He is going to be a Doctor and he has already cured me of that bleeding illness that I used to have every month."

　　：Ode To The Perfect Man

　　The perfect man is gentle,And never cruel or mean.He has a perfect smile,And is always neat and clean.The Perfect Man likes children,And will raise them by your side.He will be a caring father,And good husband to his bride.The Perfect Man loves cooking,He will clean and vacuum too.He'll do what's in his powerTo show his deep-felt love for you.The Perfect Man is sweet,Writing poems with your name;He's a best friend to your mother,And will kiss away your pain.He never has made you cryOr caused you hurt in any way.To hell with this endless poem and rhyme,The Perfect Man is gay.

　　：Pirate Problem

　　One day a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging out of his pants. He goes up to the bartender and says, "Yar, Give me something to drink."

　　While the bartender is pouring the drink, he looks at the pirate and notices the steering wheel.

　　"Hey buddy, you know you have a steering wheel hanging out of your pants?"

　　The pirate looks at the bartender and says, "Yar, and it's driving me nuts!"