關於最幽默的英語笑話

　　民間笑話故事像神話小說等民間文學一樣，是廣大勞動人民在長期的生產勞動和與自然界作鬥爭的過程中，以口頭形式創作和傳承的文學體裁。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Field Trip

　　Little David's mom asked little David if he had enjoyed the field trip. "Yes it was great - we saw sheep, horses, goats, and f*ckers."

　　Mom: "Er, fine, fine. I know what the sheep and the rest are, but what is a f*cker?"

　　David: "Oh, they're the animals that give us milk and steaks"

　　Mom: "But who said they were called, er, f*ckers?"

　　David: "That was our teacher. Well actually she called them 'effers,' but we all knew what she meant."

　　：Blonde And Her Job Interview

　　A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"

　　The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying "Ehhhh... 22!"

　　The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"

　　The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extendsthe tape to the top of her head. She checks themeasurement and announces "Five foot two!"

　　This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won't have to count, measure, or lookup."Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"

　　The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying "MANDY!"

　　The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks - "What in the world were you doing when I asked you your name?"

　　"Ohhhh, that!" replies the airhead,"I was just running through that song - 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...'

　　：Parrot

　　An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man Just stared.

　　Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally saidsarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

　　Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."

　　：The Penguin And The Icecream

　　A penguin was driving through Arizona on a hot, summer Sunday when he noticed his oil light was on. He got out of the car and, sure enough, it was leaking oil all over the road.

　　The penguin drove around the corner to a service station and asked the mechanic to take a look at it. The mechanic said he had a few others to look at first but if he came back in an hour he could tell the penguin what was wrong with his car. The penguin agreed and went for a walk.

　　He found an ice-cream shop and thought a big bowl of vanilla ice cream would really hit the spot, since he was a penguin and it was Arizona in the summer, after all. He sat down at the counter and started in on his ice cream. Of course he had no hands so it was rather messy. By the time he was done he had ice cream all over his flippers, and his mouth was a total mess.

　　He walked back to the service station and said to the mechanic, "Did you find out what is wrong with my car?"

　　The mechanic replied, "It looks like you've blown a seal."

　　"No no," said the penguin. "It's just ice cream."

　　：Improving Fry Cooking Time

　　In January 1994, 'The Economist' magazine reported that one of Secretary of Energy Hazel O'Leary's success stories about government research scientists hired out for civilian business uses was the Argonne National Laboratory's helping McDonald's to find a way to speed up french frying. A team headed by physicist Tuncer Kuzay, who interrupted his work on advanced photons, placed sensors inside the frozen fries and was able to design special frying baskets to deal with the effect of steam created by melting ice crystals and to cut 30 to 40 seconds off each batch's frying time.