最新英語小笑話帶翻譯

　　近年來,冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現象在網路、雜誌上十分盛行。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but itdoesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact,I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was fartingbecause they don't smell and are silent."

　　有位小老太太去看醫生：“醫生，我有愛放屁的毛病。其實也不是大問題，只是我放屁不臭而且沒聲音。事實上，我在這裡已經放了20多個屁，但是你並不知道對吧，因為我的屁不臭，而且還沒聲音。”

　　The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven daysand come back to see me next week."

　　醫生說：“好的，我明白了。吃這個藥片，一天三次連續吃七天，下星期你再來。”

　　The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gaveme, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."

　　一星期後老太太來了，“醫生，你到底給的我什麼藥，現在我放屁還是沒聲音，但是怎麼這麼臭!”

　　The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on yourhearing."

　　醫生說：“太好了!你的嗅覺正常了，現在開始治聽覺。”

　　篇2

　　A party of visitors were being shown round a lunatic asylum.They came across one individualin the grounds，with wild eyes，dishevelled hair，feverishly endeavouring to catchflies and keepthem in his pocket.

　　一群遊客被領著參觀一所瘋人院。在院子裡他們遇見一個人，他長著一雙瘋狂的眼睛，頭髮蓬亂，正狂熱地設法逮住蒼蠅，把它們裝在他的口袋裡。

　　His was a sad case，said the attendant.Whilst he was at the war his wife abandoned his homeand ran off with another man.

　　他的病很慘，陪同人說。在他當兵打仗的時候，他的妻子拋下他的家和另一個男人私奔了。

　　Terrible，said a visitor.

　　真可怕，一個遊客說。

　　Presently they came to a padded cell，in which could be heard a raging as of a wild beast.

　　不久他們來到一間安上軟墊的小屋前，聽見裡面傳出野獸般的怒吼。

　　That's the other man，said the attendant.

　　這就是那另一個男人，陪同人說。

　　篇3

　　Mr. and Mrs. Taylor had a seven-year-old boy named Pat. Now Mrs. Taylor was expectinganother child.

　　泰勒夫婦有一個七歲的兒子，名叫帕特。現在泰勒太太正懷著第二胎。

　　Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much, so he was notdelighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too.

　　帕特在別人家看見過小寶寶，他不太喜歡他們，所以他對自己家裡也將有一個小寶寶的訊息感到不悅。

　　One evening Mr. and Mrs. Taylor were making plans for the baby's arrival. This house won't bebig enough for use all when the baby comes, said Mr. Taylor.

　　一天晚上，泰勒夫婦正在為這個嬰兒的降臨做安排。泰勒先生說：有了小寶寶，我們的房子就太小，不夠住了。

　　Pat came into the room just then and said, What are you talking about? We were saying thatwe'll have to move to another house now, because the new baby's coming, his motheranswered.

　　帕特恰好在這個時候走進屋，他問：你們在說什麼?他的母親回答說：我們在說我們得搬家了，因為小寶寶就要來了。

　　It's no use, said Pat hopelessly, He'll follow us there.

　　那有什麼用?帕特絕望地說。他會跟我們到那兒去的。