有趣英語冷笑話

　　下面是小編整理的，歡迎大家閱讀!

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　　我丈夫剛進來

　　The couple seated in restaurant seemed to be having a wonderful time. But as the woman glanced away from the table，their waiter suddenly rushed over.

　　在飯館裡坐著一對夫婦，他們看上去非常高興。但是當那女子向旁邊瞥了一眼時，服務員馬上跑了過來。

　　“Madam look,”he said.“Your husband just slid under the table.”

　　“夫人，您瞧,” 他說,“您丈夫滑到桌子底下去了。”

　　“No,he didn't,”she replied.“My husband just came in the door.”

　　“不，他沒有,” 她回答,“我丈夫剛從門外進來。”

　　：有兩條褲子

　　A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible,” she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”

　　丈夫下班回到家裡，發現自己的新娘心緒煩亂。“我心裡太難受了，”她說。“我在給你熨西裝時把褲子的臀部燒了個大洞。”

　　“Forget it ,” consoled her husband. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

　　“沒事兒，”丈夫安慰她說。“你忘了我這套衣服有兩條褲子。”

　　“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. "And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.”

　　“是的，”妻子高興地說，“幸虧你還有一條，我後來就用它來補了這個洞了。”

　　：死於肝癌的人100%都吃飯

　　 see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of

　　those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho.

　　妻子：你瞧，根據這報上登的統計數字，那些死於肝癌的人有80%都喝酒。

　　 okey. To my investigation, all Thespeopleeat　meals.

　　丈夫：那就不錯了。據我調查，所有這些人都吃飯呢。

　　：But the teacher cried 可是老師哭了

　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled***被寵壞的*** . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum***亂髮脾氣*** . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.

　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

　　Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?

　　Cry? John asked. No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!

　　六歲的約翰嬌生慣養。他的父親知道這一點，可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什麼不是哭，就是鬧。他第一天上學才離開祖母的懷抱。

　　約翰放學了，他奶奶在門口接他並問道：學校怎麼樣?你過的好嗎?哭了沒有?

　　哭?約翰問，不，我沒哭，可老師哭了。

　　：Two Birds 兩隻鳥

　　Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

　　Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

　　Teacher: Please tell us.

　　Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

　　老師： 這兒有兩隻鳥，一隻是麻雀。誰能指出哪隻是燕子，哪隻是麻雀嗎?

　　學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

　　老師：請說說看。

　　學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。

　　：A Present 凱特的禮物

　　Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?

　　Mom: No, Honey, what?

　　Kate: A nice teapot.

　　Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.

　　Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.

　　凱特：媽媽，你知道我要給你一件什麼生日禮物嗎?

　　媽媽：不知道，寶貝，是什麼呀?

　　凱特：一把漂亮的茶壺。

　　媽媽：可是我已經有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。

　　凱特：不，你沒有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。