幽默爆笑英語故事

　　在繁忙的生活中，也要偶爾放鬆自己的心情。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：幸運

　　Walking to work one day, my husband was hit by a car. It was a minor accident and the driver apologized，adding; "You certainly are lucky. We're right next to a doctor's office."

　　有一天我丈夫走路去上班，被汽車給撞了。我丈夫傷勢不太重。司機向他道了歉，隨後又說:“你太幸運了，我們就在醫務室附近。”

　　"I don't know how lucky that is ,"my husband replied."I' m the doctor. "

　　我丈夫回答說:“我並不感到有多幸運，我就是那兒的醫生。”

　　：分享

　　As the mother of three small children born two years apart, I'm often very tired in the evening. Their father and I have set strict rules that after stories，prayers, one drink and the bathroom scene，they must go to bed and stay there.

　　作為一個每隔兩年生一個小孩，現已是三個小孩的母親，我到晚止時常感列精疲力盡。他們的父親和我給孩子們訂下嚴格的規定:講完故事、祈禱、喝水、上廁所之後，他們必須馬上上床睡覺。不許再幹別的事。

　　One night，after a particularly trying day，all three were finally tucked in and I headed to the kitchen for some cookies，milk and solitude. I had just started to relax when I was surrounded by three little people，standing there watching me eat. Turning to their father I asked，"Do we relent or stick with the rules?"

　　一天晚上，經過了一番努力，三個孩子終於鑽進了被窩。我來到了廚房想吃點餅乾，喝點牛奶，獨自呆一會兒。我剛想放鬆一下，就被二個孩子團團圍住。他們站在那兒盯著我吃東西.我轉向他們的父親問:“我們還要不要遵守規定了?”

　　Our three-year-old piped up，”Stick with the rules,Mom. "

　　我們三歲的小孩說:“媽媽，還是堅持按規定做吧!”

　　Knowing she didn't really want to be sent back to bed,I asked，"And what are the rules，Mellisa?"

　　我知道她不想去睡覺，就問:“瑪麗莎，那麼規定是怎麼說的呢?”

　　"Share with one another,"she replied.

　　“有福同享。”她回答說。

　　：紋身

　　A few months after Tom and I were married一during World War II, he was shipped off to Pearl Harbor. In one of his first letters，he wrote，"I'm going to have a Navy battle-ship tattooed on my chest.”

　　二戰中，湯姆和我剛結婚幾個月，他就被派到珍珠港。在他早期的一封信中，他寫道:“我想把海軍戰艦紋刻在胸前。”

　　Instead of pleading, I answered simply,“Send me a pitcture of your tattoo，and I'll have a duplicate put on my chest. "

　　我沒有勸阻，只是簡單地回了信:“給我寄一張你紋旁的照片來，然後我也在我的胸前仿紋一個。”

　　We have been married for 51 years. Neither of us has a tattoo.

　　我們現在已結婚51年了，誰也沒紋過身。

　　：懲罰

　　When my daughter had her first child，her husband,Chen Xi，was serving in the army in a remote mountain area. One day，Chen Xi's superior called him into his tent and ordered him to do 50 push-ups. After he completed，Chen Xi asked him what he had done wrong.“I don't have any cigarettes and sweets,"the officer said. "You just had a son!"

　　當我女兒生第一個小孩時，她丈夫陳希正在邊遠的山區服兵役。一天，陳希的隊長把他叫進了帳篷，並命令他做50個俯臥撐。陳希做完了之後，問隊長他做錯了什麼事而受罰。隊長說:“你剛有了一個兒子，而我卻沒收到任何的煙和據。”