英語經典幽默故事

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面小編為大家帶來經典幽默英語故事四則，希望大家喜歡!

　　經典幽默英語故事：你會省得更多

　　"You will he pleased with me today. mother.” said Dick to his mother, home from school. "I go to school by bus 1 ran all the way after it.

　　“媽媽，你今天一定會對我滿意的。”迪克放學回家後對媽媽說:“我省一F了車錢。我上學時沒乘公共汽車，而是跟著公共汽車一路跑到學校的。”

　　“Well,” said his mother laughing, "Next time you should run after a taxi，you will save much more.”

　　“哦。”他媽媽笑著說，“下次你跟在出租汽車後面跑，那會省得更多。”

　　經典幽默英語故事：骨灰

　　Here' s a true story related to me by my mother, which she says happened to one of her neighbors in a Venezuelan oil camp in the 50’s:It seems that a certain woman kept the ashes of her dearly departed father in a silver box on a table. One day，after not having looked at her "father" for a long time, she opened the box and was horrified to discover it was nearly empty! Furious, she accosted the maid and demanded to know," have you touched this box'?" Whereupon the maid protested "I didn’t think you’d mind! After all，it’s very poor duality snuff.”

　　這是我媽媽給我講的一個真實的故事。故事發生在50年代的委內委瑞拉油田，她的一個鄰居的家裡。有一個女人一直都留著自己已故的親愛父親的骨灰，並把它放進一個銀盒子裡擺在桌子上。一天，由於很久都沒看看自己的“爸爸”了，她便打開了盒子，卻驚奇地發現盒子裡面是空的二她吼來了女傭，想知道到底是怎麼回事，‘你碰過這個盒子嗎?”女傭辯解道:“我不知道你會生氣，說真的，那鼻菸的質量可真差。”

　　經典幽默英語故事：醫生的笑話

　　A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear. Hegoes into a staff meeting to discuss the day’s activities, when a co一worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear. In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims, "Damn，some asshole has my pen!”

　　一位醫生耳朵上夾了一支直腸溫度計開始了一天的工作。他去會議室討論今天的工作。一位同事問他為什麼在耳朵上夾一支溫度計，他憤怒的抓下溫度計，一邊看一邊說:“該死的，哪個人的肛門裡一定塞著我的鋼筆。”

　　經典幽默英語故事：三個心願

　　A poor little lonely old lady lived in a house with only her cat as a friend. One day, the lights went out as she sat knitting; she had been unable to pay the electric bill. So, she went up to the suit and got an old oil lamp from her childhood. As she rubbed it clean a genie appeared and allowed her three wishes.

　　一個窮困而孤苦伶仃的老太太和她的貓住在一間房子裡。一天.她正坐椅子上織毛衣，可燈卻熄滅了。因為她已交不起電錢了。於是她走到閣樓_匕找出了一隻小時候用的油燈。當她擦拭油燈的時候，一個妖怪出現了，要幫她實現三個心願。

　　"First, I want to be so rich I never have to worry about money again.”

　　“首先，我想變得很有錢，再也不用為錢擔心了。”

　　"Second, I want to be young and beautiful again.”

　　“然後，我想再變回到年輕時那漂亮的樣子。”

　　"And Last，I want you to change my little cat into a handsome prince.”

　　“最後，我想讓我的貓變成一位英俊瀟灑的王子。”

　　*POOF*

　　璞!

　　As the smoke cleared she saw she was surrounded by big bags of coins, and that in the mirror was a young beautiful woman. She turned as the handsome prince walked in the door, held her in his arms and said, "Now I'11 bet you're sorry you took me to the vet for that little operation.”

　　隨著一陣煙霧漫漫散開，她看見自己的周圍都是大袋子的錢幣，鏡子裡照出的是一位年青漂亮的女人，在她轉身的時候，那位英俊的王子走到了門前，將她抱入懷中，對她說:“現在我敢打賭，你一定為把我送到獸醫那裡做這個小手術而感到後悔。”