經典幽默英語故事

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面小編為大家帶來四則，希望大家喜歡!

　　：好客

　　The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple一pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest’s plate. The visitor smiled，put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese? "In the rat一trap, sir,”replied the boy.

　　由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裡沒有乳酪了，於是女主人向他表示了歉意。這家的小男孩看到這種情形後悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片乳酪回到房間，把乳酪放在客人的盤子裡。客人微笑著把乳酪放進嘴裡說:“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裡找到的乳酪?”“在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。

　　：大腦袋

　　"All the kids make fun of me,” The boy cried to his mother. "They say I have a big head.”

　　“所有的孩子都拿我取樂。”小男孩哭著跟媽媽說:“他們說我長了一個大腦袋。”

　　“Don't listen to them,” his mother consoled. "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes.

　　“別聽他們的。”他媽媽安慰說。“你的腦袋長得很漂亮。好了，別哭了，去到店裡買10磅土豆來。”

　　"Where's the shopping bag'?"

　　“兜子在哪兒呢?”

　　"I haven't got one, use your hat.”

　　“我沒有兜子，就用你的帽子吧。”

　　：現在幾點了

　　The two boys were camping in the backyard. When they couldn’t figure out what time it was, first boy said to the second，"Start singing very loud..”

　　兩個男孩子在後院露營，他們不知道到了晚上幾點鐘了。於是，一個男孩對另外一個說:“我們開始大聲唱歌就行了。”

　　"How will that help?" said the second boy.

　　“那就會知道時間嗎?”第二個男孩問。

　　“Just do it,” insisted the first.

　　“只管唱吧。”第一個堅持道。

　　Both boys broke into song, singing at the top of their lungs. Moments later, a neighbor threw open her window and shouted，"Keep it down! Don’t you know it’s three o’clock in the morning?"

　　兩個孩子開始大聲唱歌，過了一會兒，一個鄰居開啟窗戶喊道:“小聲點!你們不知道現在是凌晨三點嗎?”

　　：您的大衣著火了

　　The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to count fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important.

　　老師為了讓學生養成先思考後發言的習慣，就告訴他們在說出重要事情之前先數到50，如果是特別重要的事情，要先數到100。

　　The next day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: “Ninety-eight, ninety –nine, a hundred. Your coat is on fire, sir!”

　　第二天，當老師背靠著火爐講課時，發現好幾個學生的嘴脣在很快不停地動。突然，全班學生一起喊道:“九十八，九十九，一百。老師，您的大衣著火了!”