用英文講笑話

　　笑話是幽默的一種形式,玩笑的目的就是逗樂、引人笑。幽默當然不只是笑話,幽默有許多其他的表達形式,如插科打諢的滑稽、相聲、小品表演等。下面是小編帶來的英語幽默故事，歡迎閱讀!

　　英語幽默故事篇一

　　Watermelon 粉紅色西瓜

　　A fruit vendor1 in Philippines sold a watermelon to a woman and assured her that it was very sweet because it was red inside.

　　As she rode home on a bicycle, the vehicle skidded2 and the watermelon fell to the street and broke open, the woman was surprised to see that the fruit was pale pink but not red. So she returned with it to the vendor and complained loudly. "Madam," replied the vendor, "when one falls out of a vehicle to the street, one can expect to turn pale. How about a watermelon?"

　　在菲律賓， 一個女人從一個水果商那裡買了一個西瓜，水果商向她保證這個西瓜非常甜，因為是紅瓤的。

　　當這個女人騎車回家時，西瓜在剎車時掉在地上摔裂了，女人吃驚地發現這個西瓜不是紅瓤的，而是淺粉色的。 於是她返回去找水果商理論。 “夫人。 ”水果商回答，“如果一個人從車子上摔倒在地上，也會嚇得臉色發白。 更何況是西瓜呢?”

　　英語幽默故事篇二

　　That's the Office You Have Now

　　When I started my current job, I was assigned to a cubicle1 with a five-foot-high partition. Promoted in three monks2, I asked for a private office in line with my new title. My boss reluctantly told me that there were three possibilities. The first was a room that housed file cabinets and printers. Another was an office that was empty except when one of the company'sfounders3 visited. The third was a conference room.

　　After we had discussed each of the alternatives, he told me to make a choice. Deciding to play it safe, I replied, "I want the one that will make the least amount of trouble and affect the fewest people." A smile shot across his face, and he leaned backward in his chair. "That's the office you have now." He said.

　　我剛開始做我現在這份工作時，被安排在一個有著5英尺高隔板地隔間裡。 3個月之後。 我得到了晉升。 於是我提出了一個請求，想要擁有一個和我的新職位相符的私人辦公室。 老闆不情願地告訴我，我有3個選擇：第一個是放檔案櫃和印表機的房間，第二個是一間空辦公室，可是有的時候，公司的一個創辦人會過來看看，最後一個便是會議室。

　　在我們商討了每一種選擇方案後。 他讓我做出選擇。 為了使做出的選擇更為保險，我回答：“我想要一個將會帶來最少麻煩、影響最少人的那個房間。”一絲微笑從他的臉上掠過。 接著他往椅背上一靠，說道：“那就是您現在地辦公室。 ”他說。

　　英語幽默故事篇三

　　Change Your Business 換個工作

　　The doctor looked at his patient's tongue, felt his pulse, knocked on his chest, and began: "Same old story, my friend. Too much confinement1. Do not deny it. What you need is plenty of outdoor exercise. Walk, Walk."

　　"But, doctor..."

　　"Don't argue with me. I am the doctor. Take my advice. Walk ten times as much as you do now. That's the only thing that will cure you."

　　"But my business..."

　　"That is just the trouble. Your business! Well, change your business, so that you can get a chance to walk more. What is your business?"

　　"I'm a letter-carrier."

　　醫生看病人的舌頭，號了號脈。 敲了敲他地胸部，說道：“還是老問題，朋友， 運動量太小，不要否認這個事實。 你需要大量的戶外運動。 走路。 走路。 ”

　　“不過，醫生……”

　　“不要同我爭辯，我是醫生。遵照我的囑咐，走10倍於你現在所走的路，這是治癒你的疾病地唯一方法。 ”

　　“然而我的工作是……”

　　“這正是問題所在。 你的工作!好吧，換一個工作。 這樣一來，你就有機會多走動了。 你是幹什麼的?”

　　“我是一名郵遞員。 ”

　　英語幽默故事篇四

　　It's Good to Admit a Fault

　　John is not a "good" student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again.

　　"John!" Teacher says angrily.

　　"What? What's wrong?" John is awaken1.

　　"Why do you make a face? It's classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing." Teacher says.

　　"No one is laughing." Teacher says.

　　"No, it's not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping." John fells upset.

　　"Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy." Teacher is satisfied with it.

　　約翰並不是個“好”學生。他總是在上課的時候睡覺。今天他又睡著了。

　　“約翰!”老師生氣地喊他。

　　“什麼?出什麼事了?”約翰醒了。

　　“你為什麼要做鬼臉?這是教室!看看!同學們都在笑!”老師生氣地說。

　　“沒有人在笑呀。”其他同學笑聲地嘀咕。

　　“不，不是我。我沒有做鬼臉。剛才我睡著了。”約翰感到不安。

　　“嗯，還不錯。你承認自己的錯誤，還是個好孩子。”老師為此感到滿意。

　　英語幽默故事篇五

　　They are directly from America 它們是從美國直接帶來的

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit1 the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

　　At last she could not hold any more, uttering2. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　　一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行櫃檯，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。

　　這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最後實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”