英語笑話短文帶中文翻譯

　　笑話是幽默的一個屬概念 ,具有幽默的一切特徵。笑話是民族特有幽默的一種形式。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：Wait for your salary 你等著發工資吧

　　If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.

　　If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money...

　　wait for your salary.

　　如果你感到孤獨，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要擁抱，我做你的枕頭。

　　如果你想要快樂，我做你的微笑。如果你想要錢……

　　等著發工資吧!

　　：Problem with gas 放屁的問題

　　A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted***放屁*** at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

　　The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."

　　The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."

　　The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses***鼻竇*** , let's start working on your hearing."

　　有位小老太太去看醫生：“醫生，我有愛放屁的毛病。其實也不是大問題，只是我放屁不臭而且沒聲音。事實上，我在這裡已經放了20多個屁，但是你並不知道對吧，因為我的屁不臭，而且還沒聲音。”

　　醫生說：“好的，我明白了。吃這個藥片，一天三次連續吃七天，下星期你再來。”

　　一星期後老太太來了，“醫生，你到底給的我什麼藥，現在我放屁還是沒聲音，但是怎麼這麼臭!”

　　醫生說：“太好了!你的嗅覺正常了，現在開始治聽覺。”

　　：3 Doctors At Heavans Gate 3位醫生在天堂門口

　　Three doctors arrived in heaven. St. Peter asked them why they should be let into heaven.

　　The first doctor said,″Because I won the Nobel Peace Prize for my work.″ St. Peter let him in.

　　The second doctor said, ″I haven't won any prizes, but I've started free clinics and helped those in need forfree.″ St. Peter let him in.

　　The third doctor said, ″I'm responsible for all the hospitals across the United States.″

　　St. Peter thought about it for a minute and said, ″OK,I'll let you in, but you will be responsible for your safety!″

　　3位醫生到了天堂。聖彼得問他們，為什麼他們能進入天堂。

　　第一個醫生回答因為我獲得過諾貝爾和平獎。聖彼得讓他進了天堂。

　　第二個醫生回答我沒得過什麼獎，但我開設過免費門診，免費治病。聖彼得讓他進了天堂。

　　第三個醫生回答我負責管理美國所有的醫院。

　　聖彼得思考了一分鐘，說，好吧，我讓你進去，但你要為自己的安全負責!

　　：Good Points and Bad Points 優缺點

　　"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north."

　　"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.

　　"The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."

　　“這幢房子，”房地產推銷商說，“既有優點也有缺點。為了說明我是誠實的，我將告訴你們它的缺點：往南面一個街區是一家化工廠，往北面一個街區是一家屠宰場。”

　　“那麼它的長處呢?”預備購買房子的人問道。

　　“它的好處，”代理商說道，“就是，你總能分清風是從哪邊吹過來的。”