爆笑經典英語笑話大全

　　笑話是幽默的語言表達。它是一種常見的幽默傳達方式。笑話是口頭或者書面的幽默語言。小編分享爆笑經典英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　爆笑經典英語笑話：Three days to live 只能再活三天

　　One day, a professor asked his students: "If you have only three days to live in this world, what will you do?" Student A: I want to stay with my girl friend. Student B: I want to go back to see my parents. Student C: I will try my best to eat some delicious food.. Student D: Professor, I want to attend you lecture. Hearing this, the professor was no moved. He thought that anyhow there was still a student who wanted to attend his lecture. Just at this moment, he wanted very much to know why the student liked his lecture. So the professor asked: "Can I know the reason?" "Because when we are in your class, we feel that one day seems a year." Answered student D.

　　某日，一位教授問學生：“假如你們只剩下三天時間可以活在這個世界上的話，你們將會做些什麼?” 學生A：我要和我的女朋友待在一起。 學生B：我要回家看父母。 學生C：我要使勁吃好些東西。 學生D:教授，我想聽你講課。 聽到這裡教授非常感動。心想，總算有學生願意聽自己的課。此時，英語小故事他很想知道學生喜歡他講課的原因。於是，教授問道：“我能知道原因嗎?” “因為我們聽教授的課有種度日如年的感覺。”學生D回答。

　　爆笑經典英語笑話：We weren't looking for the same thing

　　A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway.

　　After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted***勇敢的***, she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand. "How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teenager asked. "We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150."

　　孩子在車庫打球時掉了一隻隱形眼鏡。

　　找了一會兒，他告訴母親找不到了。母親出去了，幾分鐘以後，拿著隱形眼鏡回來。“媽媽，你是怎麼找到的?”孩子問。“我們找的不是同一件東西，”母親回答，“你找的是一小片塑料，而我是在找150塊錢。”

　　爆笑經典英語笑話：Civil rights 公民權利

　　On the first day of an American history class, the professor assigned five chapters on civil rights.

　　The next day, he asked one of my classmates to name ten of those rights. When the student made no response, the professor said, "All right. Name five."

　　Still the student said nothing. Finally, the exasperated professor begged, "Just name one right you have as a civilian."

　　To a room full of laughter, the young man replied, "I have the right to remain silent."

　　第一天上美國曆史課時，教授佈置學習第五章有關公民權的材料。

　　第二天，教授要求一個同學列舉其中十種權利。那位同學沒有回答，教授說：“好吧，說五種。”

　　那個同學還是一聲不吭，最後教授感到非常生氣，就要求他說：“請把你作為公民所擁有的權利列舉一種。”

　　面對鬨堂大笑，小夥子答道：“我有權利保持沉默。”

　　爆笑經典英語笑話：他遊不過大西洋

　　An American visiting Scotland met a shepherd with a beautiful sheep dog. The American offered the owner $50 for the dog ,but the shepherd refused. "I couldn't part with Jack," he said.

　　Just then, a man with an English accent walked up and made the same offer. The shepherd agreed, pocketed money and handed over the dog.

　　The American was very angry. "You told me you wouldn't sell that dog," he cried .

　　"No ,no" said the shepherd. "I said I couldn't part with him. England is nit that far away and Jack will be back in a couple of days . But he couldn't swim the Atlantic".

　　一個訪問蘇格蘭的美國人碰到一個牧羊人帶著個漂亮的牧羊狗。美國人願出價50美元買這隻狗，可是牧羊人拒絕了。“我不能和傑克分離，”他說。

　　就在這時，一個英格蘭口音的人走過，出相同的價錢。牧羊人的同意了，他把錢裝起來，把狗遞過去。

　　美國人很生氣，“你告訴我你不願賣這隻狗的，”他大聲說。

　　“不，不”牧羊人說，“我說過我不能與他分離。英格蘭並不太遠，傑克幾天後就會回來。可是，它遊不過大西洋呀”。