令人笑到停不下來的英文笑話

　　話可能只是文字遊戲,但有時它在人們解決生活中的困惑時起著重要作用。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Good Intentions

　　One day a boy came to his teacher and said: "Teacher, pa wants to know if you like roast1 pig."

　　"I certainly do," said the teacher, "and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me."

　　Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig.

　　Finally the teacher said to the boy: "I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig."

　　"Yes," said the boy, "He did intend to, but the pig got well."

　　一天有個男孩去對他老師說：“老師，我爸想知道你是不是愛吃烤豬肉。”

　　“當然羅，”老師說，“去告訴你父親，多謝他想著我。”

　　好幾天過去了，再沒提起考豬肉的事兒。

　　最後老師對男孩說：“我以為你父親要給我送點烤豬肉來呢。”

　　“是啊，”孩子說，“他是這麼想的，可後來豬又沒病了。”

　　篇二

　　Who's carrying the bags

　　My youngest brother, Tony, had just completed basic training and was home on leave prior to his first tour in Germany. Since I was an Army National Guard pilot and my another brother was my crew chief, we offered to take Tony to catch his transport overseas.

　　When we landed at Air Force Base, several of Tony's fellow privates came out to greet him. Tony ran ahead, while my another brother and I followed with his gear1. As Tony approached hisbuddies2, he was bewildered3***困惑的*** by their dumbfounded***目瞪口呆的*** stares.

　　Finally, he realized his friends weren't seeing his two brothers giving him a lift, they were seeing a new private arrive in his own helicopter -- with his captain and sergeant4 carrying his bags!

　　我最年幼的弟弟託尼剛剛完成基本訓練，在進行第一次德國之行前請假回家。我是國民警衛隊的飛行員，我的另一個弟弟是我們部門的長官，我們提出去送託尼。

　　當我們在空軍基地降落時，託尼的幾個士兵朋友出來迎接他。託尼跑在前面，而我和另一個弟弟提著他的衣物跟在後面。當託尼跑向他的夥伴時，他們目瞪口呆的神情讓託尼很是疑惑。

　　最後，他意識到，他的朋友看到的不是他的兩個哥哥在給他提行李，他們看到的是一個新兵從他自己的直升機走下來，身後跟著給他提行李的隊長和士兵。

　　篇三

　　Let the chicken live

　　I wanted to make my mark as the new food-service officer at a recruit training center. The menu was loaded with red meat, so I devised a new one to reduce cholesterol1***膽固醇***. I substituted chicken for beef, and awaited comments from the suggestion box.

　　The first one summed up the recruits' feelings. It read simply,″Let the chicken live.″

　　我在新兵訓練中心當上後勤服務長官時,想留下一些功績。因為選單上都是紅肉，所以我設計了一個新的選單，用雞肉來代替牛肉，以減少膽固醇。我等待著來自意見箱的評價。

　　第一個意見總結出了新兵們的感覺，寫得很簡單：“讓雞活著吧。”

　　篇四

　　A drunk 醉漢

　　A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering1 wheel, even the brake pedal!" he cried out.

　　However, before the police investigation2 could start, the phone rang a second time "Never mind," the drunk said with a hiccup3, "I got in the back seat by mistake."

　　一個醉漢打電話給警察局，報告小偷光顧了他的車，“他們偷走了儀表盤、方向盤，甚至連剎車腳板都偷走了。”

　　然而在警察還沒有開始調查時，電話又一次響了起來，“沒事了”，醉漢打著嗝說，“我不小心坐到了後座上。”

　　篇五

　　He is really somebody 他真是一個大人物

　　-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　　-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

　　-- A maintenance man in a cemetery1.

　　-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。

　　-- 他真是一個大人物。幹什麼的?

　　-- 墓地守墓人。