用英語講笑話

　　笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Keep the change 零錢不用找了

　　Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar1, I got into an argument with a prospective2customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks3 were selling for ten or 15 cents each.

　　I pointed4 out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant5, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.

　　在教堂的義賣市上賣舊書時，我與一名準備買東西的顧客發生了一場爭論。他對購買袖珍奧金·納什集頗感興趣，但是說它要三十五美分開價過高。其它的平裝書每本才賣十或十五美分。

　　我指出這本書儲存狀況頗好，納什是個有趣的詩人，這個要價是合理的。他說這是個原則問題。最終，我同意以十五美分的價格將這本書賣給他。他得意洋洋，拿出一張十美元的票子付帳。“零錢不用找了。”他說。

　　篇二

　　Motivation 動機

　　My English professor once launched into a lecture on "motivation". "What pushes you ahead?" he asked. "What is it that makes you go to school each day? What driving force makes youstrive1 to accomplish?" Turning suddenly to one young woman, he demanded: "What makes you get out of bed in the morning?" The student replied: "My mother."

　　我們英文課的教授有一次在課上講“動機”。“是什麼推動你在人生的路上向前走?”他問道，“是什麼讓你每天上學來?又是什麼驅使你追求成功?”衝著一個女學生，他問：“是什麼讓你早晨從床上爬起來的呢?”學生答道：“我媽媽。”

　　篇三

　　The Ugliest Baby 最醜的小孩

　　A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

　　The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming1. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

　　一位女士抱著她的寶寶上公交車，司機看到後說：“額，那是我這輩子見過的最醜的小孩。”

　　女士走到車廂後面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對旁邊的男士說：“司機剛剛羞辱了我。”男士迴應說：“你快上去斥責他。去吧，我替你抱著你的猴子。”

　　篇四

　　Good news or Bad news 好訊息還是壞訊息

　　An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently1 on display.

　　"I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied.

　　"Give me the good news first," the artist demanded.

　　"The good news is that a gentleman inquired2 about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

　　"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed3, "What could the bad news possibly be?"

　　With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The gentleman in question was your doctor."

　　以為藝術家在一個畫廊辦了個展覽，他問店主是否有人對他參展的畫感興趣。

　　“我有一個好訊息和一個壞訊息。”店主回答。

　　“先告訴我好訊息。”畫家要求道。

　　“好訊息是一位紳士詢問了你的作品，還問它是否會在你死後增。我告訴他會的，然後他買下了你所有的15幅畫作。”

　　“那太棒了!”畫家驚歎。“那麼什麼會是壞訊息呢?”

　　店主想了想之後說：“問那個問題的是你的醫生”。

　　篇五

　　The Meaning of Dreams

　　One night just before Valentine's Day a woman had a lovely dream about a beautiful necklace.

　　When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl1 necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it could mean?"

　　"You'll find out on Valentine's Day." he said with a knowing smile.

　　On Valentine's Day, the man gave his delighted wife a beautifully wrapped package.

　　Excitedly, she opened it, only to find a book entitled2 "The Meaning of Dreams".

　　情人節前一天，一個女人做了個項鍊的夢。

　　當她醒來，她和她丈夫說：“我剛夢到你情人節給了我一根珍珠項鍊。你說那是什麼含義呢?”。

　　“到情人節那天你就會知道了。”他笑著說。

　　情人節那天，男人給了他老婆一個禮盒。

　　她很興奮地開啟，看到的卻是一本書，書名是《夢的解析》。