經典英語幽默笑話帶翻譯

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　經典英語幽默笑話1：

　　My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.

　　我朋友吉爾波特和一些卡車司機到農村去送沙石。他們得到的地址只說沿著某條路一直走，當看到一頭牛拴在蒸笆柱上時，就向右轉。

　　While Gilbert was driving along slowly，he came upon a farmer leading a cow down the road. Assuming this was his landmark, he stopped and asked the man where his cow had been tied. After Gilbert explained why he wanted to know， the farmer took the cow back and tied it to the post. All the loads got delivered.

　　正當吉爾波特開車續續前進時，他看見一位農夫牽著一頭牛沿路而來。他猜測這就是他要找的地方。他停下了車問那位農夫，他的牛剛才拴在什麼地方。在吉爾波特向農夫說明了他為什麼想知道這個問題的答案之後，那位農夫把牛牽回來，把它拴在柱子止，所有的貨都運到了此地。

　　經典英語幽默笑話2：

　　A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”

　　一位婦女總是抱怨其丈夫在家裡轉來轉去，無所事是，為了使老婆高興，他找到了精神病學專家。“你就躺在沙發上，我們來談談。”精神病醫生告訴他:“如呆你想起什麼就說，沒有的話，下次再講也行。”

　　The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.

　　這位男士舒適地躺在沙發上，很快就入睡了。到了一小時，大夫喚醒了他說:“今天就到這兒吧，請交100元。”病人付了錢之後就走了，從此，那個人每週三、四來就診。每次，他總是一句話也不說，光是睡覺，而且每次都付錢。第三週，病人來後坐下，然後又跳了起來。

　　The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"

　　“啊哈!”大夫驚喜道，“你想出要說的話了嗎?”

　　"Yes，do you need a partner ?"

　　“是的，你需要一個助手嗎?”

　　經典英語幽默笑話3：

　　A boy of about ten was sitting on a city bus with a briefcase on his lap. Periodically the youngster would whisper into his coat. A woman passenger caught his eye with a quizzical look and，in response，the boy produced a small white mouse from his shirt pocket.”He's just a baby."explained the youngster. "His parents are in here. "Opening his briefcase，he brought forth a pair of slightly Larger. white mice from among a dozen or so that scurried around inside. By this time several other passengers had formed an audience, and the boy patiently explained his interest in mice，how to take care of them, their eating habits, their different personalities and so on.

　　一位十歲的男孩腿上放著會文箱，正坐在一輛城市公共汽車上。這個孩子不斷地對著他衣服小聲嘟嚷。一位女乘客從這個男孩的眼神裡看到一種疑感。緊接著這個小男孩從他的襯衣兜裡拿出一隻小白鼠，並解繹說:“這是個鼠息子。他的父母也在這裡。”開啟他的手提箱，他從大約有十幾個的白鼠中挑出一對稍大的。這時其他的乘客也圍了過來。小男孩耐心地講著他對白鼠的興趣，怎樣照顧它們，它們的飲食習慣及不同的特性。

　　As the bus pulled up to his stop，the boy slipped the mice back into his briefcase and rose to leave his rapt audience. Starting down the steps，he turned back for a moment.

　　待車在汽車站停下時，小男孩把小白鼠放回到手提箱，站起來，離開了這些著了迷的觀眾。他下車時轉過身對大家說:“這些是用來餵我助蛇的。”說著，他就消失了。

　　"They are for my snake. "he said and disappeared out of the door.