英語笑話幽默帶翻譯

　　笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　英語笑話幽默1：

　　When the burglar broke into a seemingly empty room one night, a voice suddenly shattered the silence ;"I see you,and the saint sees you. "

　　一位竊賊一天夜裡闖進一個好像沒有人的空房子。突然寂靜中傳來一聲:“我看見你了，聖人也看見你了。”

　　The shaken thief took another tentative step.“I see you，”the voice said again:“and the saint sees you.“With that，the burglar shined his flashlight in the direction that the voice was coming from. There，in the circle of light，sat a parrot.

　　這位驚恐不安的賊又試圖再走一步，那個聲音又說:“我看見你了，聖人也看見你了。”聽到聲音，竊絨用手電照著聲音所傳來的方向。在那邊兒，一束燈光下坐著一隻鸚鵡。

　　"Dumb bird,!'the burglar uttered in relief.

　　“該死的鳥，”竊賊像鬆了口氣似地罵著。

　　"I see you，”the parrot repeated,”and the saint sees you. "

　　“我看見你了。”鸚鵡重複地叨嘮著:“聖人也看見你了。”

　　"Shut up，“the man snarled as he turned on a lamp， that's when he saw the menacing Doberman Pinscher sitting beside the parrot's perch，staring at him with glittering eyes.

　　“閉嘴，”竊賊邊開燈，邊喊叫著。這時他發現一條眼光咄咄逼人的構坐在鸚鵡旁。

　　" Sic' em，Saint,"squawked the parrot.

　　鸚鵡尖叫著:“聖人，撲呀!撲呀!”

　　英語笑話幽默2：

　　A father had four sons. One went to the big city,where he became a wealthy businessman，the other three remained in their home town. When their father passed away,the successful son was too busy to attend the funeral，but he told his brothers to spare no expense，since he would pay all the costs.

　　一位父親有四個兒子。一個兒子到了大城市成了一位富商，另外三個兒子留在了家鄉。當父親過世時，有錢的兒子太忙無法前來參加葬禮。但他吩咐其兄弟們，不要捨不得花錢，一切費用由他來支付。

　　Shortly thereafter，the wealthy son received an bill for $5,000 from the funeral director，which he paid. But every month afterward he got a bill for $27. Curious about this little item, he wrote to his brothers and asked the reason for the monthly charge.”You told us that we should spare no expense，“his brothers wrote back.“Since you said Dad would like to be in style，we rented him a tuxedo."

　　事隔不久，做富商的兒子從殯儀館主管那兒收到了一張5000美元的發票，他付了帳。從這以後，他每月都收到一張27美元的帳票。他對這筆微薄的開銷有點兒好奇，於是就寫信給其兄弟，想知道其中的原因。

　　他的兄弟們寫回信告訴他:“你告訴我們不必節省。既然你說爸爸的穿著要高稚脫俗，所以我們為他租了一套黑色禮服。”

　　英語笑話幽默3：

　　I was surprised to learn that my 72-year-old mother dared to drive 900 miles in a 12-year-old car to visit me.When asked how she made out，she told me just fine...until her second night. She had filled the gas tank and didn't have the money for a motel room.

　　當聽說我72歲的母親居然開著12年的舊車行駛了900英里來看我時，我真有些吃驚。在我問她是如何做的時候，她告訴我她一切都好，只是到了第二天晚上，給汽車加油後卻沒有住旅館的錢。

　　"What did you do?"I asked.

　　“那你怎麼辦了?”我問道。

　　" Well，"she began，“I was driving through this small town and feeling very sleepy. A policeman pulled me over and asked if I had been drinking. When I told him no，he wanted to know why I was weaving all over the road，I explained my situation,’‘Follow me，”he ordered.We then drove to a motel where the nice officer paid for my night's lodging.

　　她說:“嗨，我開到這個鎮子時，感到很困，一位警寨叫住了我。他問我是否喝了酒，我說沒喝。警察問我為什麼開車在路上打晃晃。於是我解釋了我的情況。他命令道:“跟我走。”就這樣，我們就開到了一個汽車旅館。警察替我付了住店費。

　　"As he was leaving,"Mother continued,”he turned to me and said,I Ma'am，the next time you have to visit your daughter，please take another route.'”

　　媽媽接著說:“他離開時，轉過身，衝著我說:‘夫人，你下次要看兒女時，請走另一條路線吧!’”