英語經典幽默笑話及翻譯

　　笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　英語經典幽默笑話1：

　　There was once a large，fat woman who had a small，thin husband. He had a job in a big company and was given his weekly wages every Friday evening. As soon as he got home on Fridays，his wife used to make hirn give her all his money，and then she used to give him back only enough to buy his lunch in the office every day.

　　曾有一位塊兒大、膘肥的女人，她的丈夫卻是瘦小、乾癟。丈夫是在一家大公司做事。每到週五晚上領到工資，也正是週五這位丈夫回家時，老婆就讓他把所有錢都交出來，然後再給他一點兒在辦公室吃午飯的錢。

　　One day the small man came home very excited. He hurried into the living-room. His wife was listening to the radio and eating chocolates.”You'll never guess what happened to me today，dear,"he said. He waited for a few seconds and then added:“I won ten thousand pounds on the lottery!”

　　一天，這位小丈夫回到家，興奮得不得了。他匆匆忙忙地來到起居室。他老婆正在那兒聽廣播，吃巧克力。“親愛的，你永遠也猜不到我今天怎麼了，”他說道，過了數秒鐘他又說:“我中了一萬英磅的彩票。”

　　"That's wonderful!"said his wife delightedly. But then she thought for a few seconds and added angrily，"But wait a moment! How could you afford to buy the ticket?".

　　“太棒了!”他老婆非常高興地說。但她又沉思了一會兒並氣憤地問:“你說說，你拿什麼錢買的彩票?”

　　英語經典幽默笑話2：

　　A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker:"Attention，passengers. We have lost one of our engines，but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately， we will arrive an hour late as a result. "

　　一架747客機正跨越大西洋時，喇叭裡傳來了機長的聲音:“旅客們請注意，我們四個引擎之中有一個丟失了。但利下的三個引擎會把我們帶到倫敦的。不幸的是因此我們書晚到一小時。”

　　Shortly thereafter，the passengers heard the captain's voice again:"Guess what，folks. We just lost our third engine，but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late. "

　　過了一會兒，旅客們又聽到了機長的聲音:“各位，你們猜怎麼啦?”我們剛又掉了第三個引擎。但請你們相信好了，有一個引擎我們也能飛，但要晚三個小時了。”

　　At this point，one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake,"he shouted，"If we lose another engine，we'll be up here all night !"

　　正在這時，一位乘客非常氣憤地說:“看在上帝的扮止，如果我們再掉一個引拿，我們會整夜都呆在天上了。”

　　英語經典幽默笑話3：

　　The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon. As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.

　　收師非常生氣，因為總有一個人在他說教時睡覺。一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個人打瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好地教育他不要睡覺。

　　In a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise，" Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering" Be seated"，the minister shouted at the top of his voice，"All those who want to be with the devil，please rise. "

　　他低聲地對教徒們說:“想去天堂的人都站起來。”除打瞌睡的人外，每個人都站了起來。牧師說過請坐之後，高聲喊道:“下地獄的請站起來!”

　　Awaking with a start，the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit,”Well，sir," he said.,"I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲所驚醒，站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣地望著他。他說:“先生，我不知我們在選什麼，但看上去你和我是唯一的侯選人。”