英語經典幽默笑話帶翻譯

　　笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　英語經典幽默笑話1：

　　A man dirning with a friend explained the peculiarities of the restaurant they were in:"The waiters never admit they don't have something. They'll take your order. for a slice of sun and too away as if they mean to get it...then they'll come back and say they just ran out.”

　　一位和朋友吃飯的男士解釋他們在飯館裡吃飯的怪現象時說:“服務員從未承認過他們沒有什麼萊。假如你想要一份太陽，他們也會拿著選單離去，好像真能給你弄來似的。然後，他們回來說這道菜剛賣完。”為了證明這一點，我說:“請來一份恐龍。”

　　To prove his point，he said to the waiter,“The dinosaur，please.”

　　“好的，先生，”服務員回答說:“您要的恐龍是做得嫩點還是老點兒的?”

　　“Yes，sir，“answered the waiter.”And how would you like it cooked?"

　　“老點兒的。”

　　"Well done!"

　　服務員離開了，又很快回來了。“對不起，先生，我們的恐龍菜剛賣完。”

　　The waiter left and returned quickly.“I'm sorry, sir，but we've just run out of a dinosaur.”

　　“什麼?”顧客氣憤地說:“沒有恐龍?”

　　" What?" said the diner with feigned disappointment."No dinosaur?"

　　那服務員低聲地說:“我們的確還剩一些。”他顯得作常自信的樣子。“但恐龍肉有點兒不太鮮了，所以我們還是不給您上這道菜的好。”

　　The waiter lowered his voice. "Well，we do have some left，“he whispered confidentially,"...but it's not very fresh and I won't serve it!”

　　英語經典幽默笑話2：

　　Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when

　　the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.

　　我妹妹婚後不久，我父親的同事夫婦倆順便來看我父母。這兩個客人沒被邀請出席婚禮。所以那位女士說:“真遺憾，那天我沒有去教堂。”我媽媽以為她的意思是沒有來參加喝彩俱樂部所招待的茶和甩賣活動。

　　"I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!"

　　我媽媽回答說:“你沒有來太好了，免得你看那片亂哄哄的景色.”

　　"I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?"

　　客人說:“我原打算看看大家穿得如何，你那天穿的是什麼?’，

　　"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "

　　媽媽說:“就是那套老式的海軍呢和我的牛津服唄。值得一提的是，我們掙了一千多塊錢。”

　　"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.

　　“你們收了贈款了嗎?”那位女士驚奇池問。

　　"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”

　　“噢，沒有，”媽媽說:“你知道怎麼著，許多人只是來看熱鬧，你從他們身上是分文也得不到的，所以我們決定收門票。”

　　At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.

　　說到這兒，爸爸覺得意思搞誤會了。他建議媽媽解釋一下，我妹妹的婚禮既不是哄亂，也沒收取任何錢財。

　　英語經典幽默笑話3：

　　It was the first day of school and a new student,the son of a Japanese businessman,entered the fourth grade.The teacher greeted the class and said，“Let’begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me liberty，or give me death'?"

　　開學的頭一天，四年級來了一個新生。這是一個日本商人的兒子。老師跟全班打了招呼，並說:“我們先來複習一些美國的歷文。誰曾經說過‘要麼就讓我死，要麼就給我自由’?”

　　She saw only a sea of blank faces except for that of Toshiba，who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry，1775,"said the boy.“Now，”said the teacher,“Who said 'Government of the people，by the people，for the people shall not perish from the earth'?”

　　老師看到的好像是一片空白的臉，只有那位“東芝”舉了手回答說:“亨利·柏垂克，1775年。”

　　Again, no response except from Toshiba:”Abraharn Lincoln，1863. "

　　老師又說:“好，誰說過‘民有、民治、民享的政府不會從地球土消失’?”

　　The teacher snapped at the class，"You should be ashamed. Toshiba，who is new to our country，knows more about it than you do."

　　然而除了東芝以外全班仍沒有任何反應。

　　As she turned to write something on the blackboard，she heard a loud whisper:"Damned Japanese.”

　　“林肯， 1863年。”

　　"Who said that?"she demanded.

　　老師衝著全班打了一個響指說:“你們應感到害躁，這個新來我們國家的東芝比你們知道的都多。”

　　Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Jacocca，1982. "he said.

　　當老師在黑板上寫字時，聽到一聲咒罵:“該死的日本人!”

　　老師問:“誰說的?”