趣味笑話英語帶翻譯

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1：

　　Once upon a time，this guy named Fred decided that he was rough and tough enough to seek his fortune in the Wild West.

　　很久以前，一個名叫佛瑞德的人覺得自己足夠凶悍和強壯，所以決定去美國西部蠻荒地區闖蕩。

　　So, Fred found his way to a frontier town and became the bartender at the wildest saloon in the territory. He soon proved how rough and tough he was，and the owner of the bar was pleased with how he broke up fights and didn’t skim too much off the receipts. He told Fred that he ***Fred*** was doing a fine job，but he should remember one thing: “lf you ever hear even a rumor that Mad Martin is coming to town,just save what you can，put a bottle of Red Eye on the counter, and head out of town as fast as you can.”

　　佛瑞德來到了西部邊境一個小鎮的酒吧裡做了一名酒吧招待，很快他就證明了他的強悍與凶狠。當酒吧老闆看到他分開酒吧裡打架的人們，並且很少揩油，就很高

　　興地告訴佛瑞德他做的不錯，但是一定要記住一件事:“如果你聽說有傳言狂人馬丁要來到小鎮，你要把能收好的東西收好，在櫃檯上放一瓶‘赤珠’雞尾酒，然後儘快地離開小鎮。”

　　Fred was pretty perplexed at this, and sought explanation. He was told that Mad Martin was an old mountain man who lived up in the hills and only came to town once or twice a year. However, Martin was the most dangerous guy they'd ever heard of and few had ever encountered him and lived to tell the tale. Fred listened carefully and then promptly forgot all about it.

　　佛瑞德對這些話感到非常困惑，努力想知道為什麼要這樣之後，他被告知這個狂人馬丁是住在山裡的一個巨人，他每年要有一次或兩次到山下的小鎮來。當然，馬

　　丁是他們所聽到過的最危險的人。幾乎沒有人能見到馬丁後活著回來講有關於馬丁的故事。佛瑞德雖然聽得很認真，但是很快他就忘了這些。

　　Until，one day a few months later, a cowboy came riding through town at full speed, yelling, "Martin's coming. Head for the hills I” The result was incredible. Everybody in town immediately jumped on their horses and took off for the hills except Fred. He wanted to see this guy because he didn’t believe he could be all that tough. So, Fred just put the bottle of Red Eye on the bar, hid behind the counter, and waited.

　　直到幾個月以後的一天，一個牛仔騎著馬全速地穿過小鎮大聲喊著:“馬丁來了!快到山上去!”這喊聲後果真是不可思議。小鎮裡的每個人迅速地騎上他們的馬逃到山上去了。只剩下了佛瑞德，他想看看這個傢伙到底什麼樣子，因為他根本不信他有那麼可怕。他在櫃檯上放了一瓶“赤珠”雞尾酒以後，就躲在櫃檯後面等著。

　　He didn’t wait long. Soon there was a noise in the street. As Fred looked out a hole in the wall，he saw this huge, mean-looking guy ride down the center of the street on the biggest bull buffalo that Fred had ever seen. The guy stopped the buffalo in front of the bar, jumped off the beast, punched it in the head and bellowed, "Wait here till I get back!”

　　他沒等多久就聽到了街上的聲音。當他從牆上的洞向外看時，他看到一個身材高大，長相醜陋的傢伙騎著一頭佛瑞德從來沒見過的大野牛從街中間走來。那個傢伙騎著野牛在酒吧門前停了下來，從那野牛身上下來時候還打了一下它的頭說:“在這兒等著我回來!”

　　The fellow turned and walked up the steps. Fred saw that the guy had a pair of huge mountain lions on leashes. He tied them both to a post and kicked them sound1y, hollering, "You pussycats stay here till I'm done !”The cats fearfully sat down.

　　那個傢伙轉過身走了進來。佛瑞德看到他還牽著兩隻巨大的山獅，他把它們拴栓到一個柱子上踢了一腳大聲叫道:“你們這些小貓在這兒等我!”它們就乖乖地坐了。

　　Into the bar stormed the fellow, ripping the doors off the wall as he passed. Wiith two strides he approached the bar, picked up the bottle of Red Eve, bit off the neck, and downed it all in one gulp. Poor Fred，thoroughly frightened by now, let out a little whimper. The guy looked down over the bar and roared，"Who the hell do you think you’re looking at!?”

　　那個傢伙走進酒吧，踢倒了大門。兩步就走到了櫃檯前並把那瓶酒仰起脖子一口氣喝完了。可憐的佛瑞德現在可害怕了，他不小心出了一點小聲。那個傢伙向下

　　一看然後大吼:“你到底知不知道你在看著的是誰?!”

　　Fred managed to say，"N…n…n… nothing, mister. Do you want another bottle of Red Eye? "

　　佛瑞德嚇得說:“沒……沒什麼事!大人!你想再來一杯嗎?”

　　To which the fellow replied，"Hell no! I don’t have time! 1 got to get out of here - -Mad Martin’s coming!"

　　那個傢伙回答道:“當然不要!我沒有時間了!我得離開這裡，你不知道麼?狂人馬丁來了!”

　　2：

　　The untried general faced battle the next day, and was more than a little frightened.

　　一位未曾有過作戰經驗的將軍非常惶恐，因為第二天將有個戰役要面對。

　　Seeking inspiration, he looked into the history of great commanders and learned that Wellingtonhad always dressed in red for battle,

　　為了尋找靈感，他翻查了歷年來偉大將領的檔案，發現威靈頓將軍每次戰鬥中都身穿紅色衣服，

　　so that his men would not realize if he were shot.

　　萬一他被射傷的話，他的士兵也不會發現。

　　Instantly he called in his adjutant and ordered a pair of trousers in a rich, dark brown.

　　於是他傳了副官進來並指示手下做了一條深褐色的褲子。

　　以上就是小編為大家帶來的，希望大家喜歡!