英語幽默笑話短文

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　1：

　　A woman came into our bank to get a check cashed，but she didn't have an account with us. When I asked her for some identification, she showed me several charge cards，her Social Security card and a library card. I told her we needed a driver's license，but she didri t have one.

　　一位婦女來到我們銀行想兌換一張支票，但她在我們這兒沒建立帳戶。當我問她要證明材料時，她把社會保險卡、圖書卡拿給我看。我告訴她我們要看她的駕駛證，她說她沒有。

　　"Don't you have something with your picture on it?"I asked.

　　“難道你就沒帶照片的東西嗎?”

　　"Oh, sure,"she said as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet. "That's me in the back row. "

　　“噢，有啊，”她邊說邊從錢包裡拿出一張閤家照，“站在後排的那個就是我。”

　　2：

　　My secretary began to post unusual news articles,cartoons and pictures of faraway lands on our office bulletin board. Although she changed the items on a regular basis，no one mentioned her efforts.Eventually she put up a notice stating that she would give one dollar to the first person who read the announcement and informed her about it. Two weeks later, she received her first acknowledgement，a handwritten reply left on her desk:"I just wanted you to know how much I enjoy your interesting bulletin board. The Cleaning Lady.”

　　我的祕書開始在我們辦公室的布告欄裡張貼一些奇持的新聞、卡通和風景畫等。按時更換，但從未有人提到過她所做出的努力。終於她貼出了一張告示說，誰要是第一個看到她貼的通知，就可以告訴她，那個人就能從她那裡得到一美元。兩週後，她接到了第一個正式的通知。在她的桌上留著一張字條:“我只想讓你知道，我非常喜歡看那有趣的布告欄。清潔工。”

　　3：

　　Stepping from my kitchen into the garage, I accidentally locked myself out of the house. When I tried to persuade my 18-month-old son，Taylor, to open the door, none of my tactics worked. Finally，I walked around the house to check for an open window. To my amazement，I found the front door open and Taylor standing there with a salesman.

　　出了廚房我便走進了車庫，不留神把門鎖給撞上了，把我自己鎖在了門外。我那18個月的兒子泰勒在屋裡。於走，我在外邊千方百計地想讓他幫我開門，結果均告失敗。最後，我圍著房子想找個開著的窗子。令我吃驚的是，前門開著，我的兒子站在門口正與一個推銷員在談話。

　　"I've been locked out for 20 minutes,"I said. "How did you get him to open the door?"

　　我對那推銷員說:“我被鎖在了外邊20多分鐘，你是怎樣讓他給你開門的”。

　　Looking puzzled，the man replied，“I rang the doorbell."

　　面帶驚奇的推銷員答說:“我只按了一下門鈴。”

　　4：

　　A motorist got caught in one of those new radar traps.He had been driving home one night when the automatic camera identified his car as exceeding the speed limit, Soon after，he received a ticket in the mail，plus a picture of this vehicle with the date and speed recorded on it.

　　一個飛車手被新的雷達測速儀捕獲。那是他在一天晚上超速駕車回家時，被自動照像機攝下了他的汽車。不久，他便收到了一個裝有***單的信封，裡面裝有他汽車的照片、超速的日期和速度。

　　Duly impressed, he sent back the ticket, along with a photo of a $100 bill to pay the fine.

　　他對這種方式的印象極為深刻，於是寄回了那張***單，並附上了一張一百元美金的照片作為罰金。