精選幽默英語小笑話

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：可憐的寵物狗

　　There was a small boy who had been given a little terrier for his very own, on which he bestowed the name of Paddy, and loved mightily. He was very saddened by the fact that he could not take his pet away with him on his holidays, which he was spending with some relatives in the country.

　　從前有一個小男孩，他得到了一條完全屬於他自己的小獵狗。他給小狗取名帕蒂，對它寵愛萬分。他要到鄉下一些親戚家去度假，可又不能帶上他的寵物，為此他很傷心。

　　Whilst he was away Paddy's young life was cut short by an unfortunate adventure with a motor. The boy's mother feared he would take the news very hardly on his return,she broke it very gently,therefore, and was rather surprised that the little lad did not seem much perturbed. Later, however, she heard him weeping lustily in his bed. He was inarticulate with grief, but his brother explained that he was cryingabout Paddy.

　　他不在家的時候，帕蒂在一次不幸的車禍中失去了年輕的生命。男孩的母親怕他回家時聽到這個訊息太難過;因此她相當小心地把這個訊息透露給他，而頗為令人驚訝的是小夥子看起來並不怎麼在意。可是，後來她聽見他在床上哭得死去活來。他傷心得說不出話來，但是他的哥哥解釋說他在為帕蒂痛哭。

　　But, said the mother, I told him about it this morning, and he did not seem to mind!

　　可是，這位母親說：我今天早晨告訴他了，他好像根本不在乎啊!

　　The brother explained, yes, but he thought you said Daddy.

　　他哥哥解釋說：是的，可他以為你說的是爸爸。

　　：創造性

　　Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications***資格證書，職位要求*** . Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.

　　第一次求職時，我意識到在列舉我所具備的為數不多的條件時，得有點創造性。當問及我是否受過其它的培訓時，我老實地回答說我花了三年時間學計算機程式設計課。我得到了那份工作。

　　I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.

　　我沒有提到那門功課我重複學了三年才考及格。

　　：生命真的要結束了嗎

　　A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.

　　一個男人坐在酒吧裡痛哭流淚。一個朋友走進來問他為何如此傷心。那人哭著說：剛才醫生告訴我，在我的餘生裡都要吃這些藥片。

　　Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.

　　他的朋友很輕鬆地指出，許多人一輩子每天都要吃藥。當然，男人回答說：但是他只給了我十片。