英語簡單幽默笑話精選

　　從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1

　　Mr.Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents,so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane,Mr.Johnson was very worried about accepting.Finally,however,his friend persuaded him that it was very safe,and Mr.Johnson boarded the plane.

　　His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport.Mr.Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing,so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.

　　After a minute or two he opened them again,looked out of the window of the plane,and said to his friend,"Look at those people down there.They look as small as ants,don't they?"

　　"Those are ants," answered his friend."We're still on the ground."

　　約翰遜先生從前未乘過飛機,他讀過許多關於飛行事故的報道.所以,有一天一位朋友邀請他乘自己的小飛機飛行時,約翰遜先生非常擔心,不敢接受.不過,由於朋友不斷保證說飛行是很安全的,約翰遜先生終於被說服了,登上了飛機.

　　他的朋友啟動引擎開始在機場跑道上滑行.約翰遜先生聽說飛行中最危險的是起飛與降落,所以他嚇得緊閉雙眼.

　　過了一兩分鐘,他睜開雙眼朝窗外望去,接著對朋友說道：“看下面那些人,他們看起來就象螞蟻一樣小,是不是?”

　　“那些就是螞蟻,”他的朋友答道,“我們還在地面上.”

　　2

　　One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car.

　　He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour.The chicken was still keeping up.After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house.

　　The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane.He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen.

　　The farmer said that he was a geneticist and had developed this breed of chicken because he,his wife and his son each like a drumstick when they have chicken and this way they only have to kill one chicken.

　　"That''s the most fantastic thing I've ever heard," said the salesman."How do they taste?"

　　"I don't know," said the farmer."We've never caught one."

　　有一天,一個旅行推銷員以時速30英里的速度開車去一個小鎮子,忽然他發現有一隻三條腿的小雞在他的車旁奔跑.

　　他猛踩了一下油門,時速達到了每小時50英里,可是那隻小雞依然沒被他的車落下.跑了很久之後,那隻小雞穿過農場的田間小路,最後跑進了農場一間舊房子後面的雞籠裡.

　　那個旅行推銷員看時間還早,就把車也開進了農場的田間小路.他敲了那間舊房子的門,並把他看到的一切都告訴了來開門的那個農場主.

　　農場主告訴旅行推銷員,他是一名遺傳學者,他培育出這種三條腿的雞,是因為他和妻子,還有他們的兒子,都喜歡吃雞腿.培育出這種三條腿的雞,當他們全家吃雞的時候,只需要殺死一隻雞,就可以每個人都能吃到一個雞腿了.

　　“這是我聽過最奇妙的想法了”,旅行推銷員說,“它的味道怎麼樣?”

　　“我不知道,”農場主說,“我一次也沒有抓住過.”

　　3

　　A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him.She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways.Wow,she thought,this crab is really special.I can't let him get away.So they got married immediately.

　　The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs,and got upset."What happened?" she asked." You used to walk straight before we were married."

　　"Oh,honey," he replied,"I can't drink that much every day.

　　一隻雄蟹遇到一隻雌蟹,便要娶她為妻.她注意到他走路是直著走,而不是橫著走.哇!她想,這隻雄蟹可真特別,我可不能讓他跑了.因此他們立刻結婚了.

　　第二天,她又發現她的新郎像其他蟹一樣橫著走路了.她深感不安.“你怎麼了?”她問,“我們結婚前你可是直著走路的.”

　　“哦,寶貝,”他回答說,“我不可能每天都喝那麼多.”

　　以上就是小編為大家帶來的，希望大家喜歡!