爆笑英語笑話短文

　　笑話具有的娛樂功能是其首要功能。笑話雖小,但它含有極強的語言表達技巧和人類的高超智慧。小編分享爆笑的幽默英語笑話短文，希望可以幫助大家!

　　爆笑的幽默英語笑話短文：Slow Down

　　One day a farmer decided that he wanted to expand his chicken farming. In order to do this he would need a stud rooster. He asked around his fellow farmers and the general consensuswas that the best rooster was from a far away town. His name was Randy. The farmer went to this far away town and met with Randy's owner. The owner confirmed that Randy was indeed the best, but would come at an expensive price. After much deliberation, the farmer decided to invest in Randy.

　　When the farmer got home, he sat down with Randy and explained what he needed and reinforced the great expense he went through to obtain Randy.He told him that while he expected Randy to perform, he also expected Randy to pace himself. The farmer released Randy in the hen house and Randy went wild. Feathers where flying and Randy was servicing every hen in the house. The farmer reiterated to Randy the necessity of pace. The next day, Randy not only went flying through the hen house, but also went after the dog, the cat, the sheep, a fox and several other accessible animals. The farmer was outraged. "Randy" he said, "You can't possibly last at this pace." "Slow down, I need you for a long time." Well, the next day, theinevitable happened. Randy was lying in the field looking like death was soon coming. Buzzards were circling around and slowly getting closer. The farmer watched his investment slowly dying. He dragged himself up to Randy and said "How could you?" "I asked you to pace yourself, I told you how important you were."

　　Slowly, Randy opened one eye and said "Shh, they're getting closer."

　　爆笑的幽默英語笑話短文：Blonde Car Accident

　　One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

　　The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

　　He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement.

　　He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

　　Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

　　The blonde started laughing.

　　This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

　　This time the blonde laughed even harder.

　　Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

　　The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

　　The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

　　爆笑的幽默英語笑話短文：Frog Experiment

　　Sidney was a 14-year-old boy with an interest in the sciences. One summer day he started his own investigations. With his 12-year-old sister Sophie in tow, he caught a large bull frog in a local pond. Sidney started his experiment with the amphibian, and told Sophie her job was to write down the results of the experiment.

　　Sidney drew a line in the sand, placed the frog on the line, and prodded the frog with a small twig from the rear and shouted, "Jump, frog!" The frog jumped, and Sidney measured the distance. "12 feet...write that down, Sophie," he said.

　　Next, he brought the frog back to the starting point and removed the frog's right front leg. Again he prodded the frog and shouted, "Jump, frog!" The frog jumped 10 feet, and on instruction, Sophie wrote it down.

　　Again the frog was brought back, the left front leg was removed, and again "Jump, frog!" Sidney reported, "Six feet...write it down."

　　The next time, Sidney removed the large right back leg. "Jump, frog!" Then, he shouted "Jump, frog!" and prodded the frog. "The frog jumped 8 inches...write it down, Sophie."

　　Finally, Sidney removed the frog's remaining back left leg, put it down and prodded the frog with the twig shouting, "Jump, frog! Jump, frog! JUMP FROG!! JUMP JUMP FROG!!!"

　　The frog didn't jump. Sophie looked at Sidney, and said, "So what should I write down?"

　　Sidney thought a moment, then told Sophie to write, "When you remove all the legs from a frog, it turns deaf."