經典英語簡短小笑話閱讀

　　笑話是實際生活中客觀存在的，作為文學式樣，它的特徵是戲謔、諷刺，其功能是啟迪、警示。它淵源流長、值得研究、探討。 下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　The doctor lives downstairs

　　醫生住在樓下

　　"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.”

　　”醫生“她衝進屋後大聲說道。"我想讓你坦率地告訴我，我到底得了什麼病。"

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,”he said at length, “l've just three things to telf you. First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, l'm an artist,the doctor lives downstairs."

　　他從頭到腳打量了她，然後大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的相貌將會變美。第三，我是一位畫家——醫生住在樓下。”

　　篇二

　　Are you a normal person?

　　你精神正常嗎?

　　During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?""Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub,and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup,and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."Oh,I understand,n said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."Noooooooo! n answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

　　一個參觀者在參觀一所精神病院的時候問院長，”你們是用什麼標準來決定一個人是否應該進精神病院呢?””哦……¨院長說，“是這樣，我們先給一個浴缸放滿水，然後我們給病人一個茶匙，一個茶杯和一個水桶去把浴缸裡面的水放清。“哦，我明白了¨，參觀者說，”正常人會選擇水桶，因為水桶比茶匙和茶杯的容積大。””錯了”，院長回答道，正常人會把浴缸塞子拔掉。

　　篇三

　　Who's going deaf ?

　　誰要聾了?

　　A man tells a doctor, ”I think my wife's going deaf. What can I do ? "

　　丈夫告訴醫生："我想我的妻子快要聾了，我可以做些什麼呢?"

　　The doctor says, "VVell, trY to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question-If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. That way we can see how bad the problem is." The man goes home, sees his wife and says, "Hi honey, what's for dinner ? " He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer. "Honey, what's for dinner ? " He repeats this severaltimes, until he's standing right next to her. Finally,she answers, "For the tenth time, I said we-re having Pot Roast!"

　　醫生告訴他："嗯，先嚐試測測她的聽力吧。站在離她有一段距離的地方，問一個問題，如果她沒有回答，走近一點再問一遍.一直重複直到她回答為止。這樣我們就可以知道情況有多糟了。“丈夫回到家，看見妻子便問：¨親愛的，晚餐吃什麼?¨他沒有聽到回答，於是走近一點再問：¨親愛的，晚餐吃什麼呢?這樣重複了好幾次，直到他就站在妻子旁邊了。

　　終於，她回答了：¨這是第十次了，我說我們吃燉肉.

　　篇四

　　a guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of thei head with a frying pan. he asks, "what was that for ?"she says, " i found a piece of paper in your pocket with'betty sue' written on it.' ha says, "jeez,honey, 'betty sue'was the name of the horse i bet on.h she shrugs and walks away.

　　一個傢伙正在看報紙，他的妻子走到他身後，用一隻煎鍋敲他的後腦勺。他問道：“這是為什麼?”她說：“我在你口袋裡發現了一張寫有‘betty sue’的紙條。"他說：¨哎呀，親愛的，‘bettysue’是我賭的那匹馬的名字。口她聳了聳肩，走了。

　　three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. he asks, "what was that for?一she answers, "your horse called."

　　三天後，他正在看報紙，妻子走到他身後，又用一隻煎鍋敲他的後腦勺。他問：這又是為什麼?“她答道：-你的馬打電話來了。”

　　篇五

　　An absent-minded husband

　　心不在焉的丈夫

　　I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.

　　我陪丈夫一起出差，他帶著他的膝上型電腦。到了機場出口處時， 有位檢查員要他開啟包。但是包鎖上了，機場工作人員耐心地等著我那窘迫的丈夫設法回想起暗鎖的密碼。最後他終於想起來了。

　　“Why are you so nervous?"I asked him.

　　”你為什麼那麼緊張呢?“我問他。

　　"The numbers are the date of our annivorsary.my husband confessed.

　　“密碼是我們的結婚紀念日。”他承認道”