較長的英語笑話帶翻譯

　　冷笑話不同於一般笑話,它以其獨特的制笑機制,能瞬間創造出一種特殊的氛圍。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Two nuns were shopping and happened to be passing the beer store.

　　兩個修女外出購物，路過一家啤酒店。

　　One asks the other if she would like a beer.

　　其中一個修女問另外一個要不要買點啤酒喝。

　　The other nun answered that would be good, but that she would be queasy about purchasing it.

　　那個修女回答說她是想喝，但不太敢去買。

　　The first nun said that she would handle it and picked up a six pack and took it to the cashier.

　　第一個修女說她會搞定，說罷拿起一提六瓶裝的啤酒，來到收銀臺。

　　The cashier had a surprised look and the first nun said, "The beer is used for washing our hair."

　　看到收銀員的表情有點怪，第一個修女說，“我們買啤酒是用來洗頭的。”

　　The cashier, without blinking an eye, reached under the counter and put a package of pretzels in the bag with the beer, saying. . .

　　收銀員，眼皮都沒有眨一下，把手伸進櫃檯下面，拿出一包椒鹽餅乾放到裝啤酒的袋子裡面，

　　"Here, don't forget the curlers."

　　說“嘿，捲髮器可不能少!”

　　篇二

　　There was a guy in a bar, just looking at his drink.

　　一個男人坐在酒吧裡，看著自己的酒發呆。

　　He stayed like that for half an hour.

　　他這個樣子已經有半個小時了。

　　Then, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up next to him,took the drink from the guy, and drank it all down.

　　這時，一個好惹事的卡車司機走到他旁邊，從他手裡一把搶過酒杯，把酒喝了個精光。

　　The poor man started crying.

　　可憐的男人大哭起來。

　　The truck driver said, "Come on man, I was just joking.

　　卡車司機說，“拜託，哥們，我只是在和你開個玩笑。

　　Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying"

　　這樣吧，我再給你買一杯，我實在受不了看著一個大男人哭。”

　　"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life.

　　“不，不是那樣的。今天是我這輩子最倒黴的日子。

　　First, I was late getting to my office.

　　首先，我上班遲到了，

　　My boss was outrageous, and fired me.

　　我的老闆是個蠻橫的傢伙，他把我炒了。

　　When I left the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen.

　　當我離開辦公樓去取車時，發現我的車被偷了,

　　The police say they can do nothing.

　　警察卻說他們對此無能為力。

　　I got a cab to return home,and when I left it,

　　於是我只好打車回家，下了車，

　　I remembered I left my wallet and credit cards there.

　　我發現錢包和信用卡都落在了車上，

　　The cab driver just drove away.

　　但那個計程車司機已經把車開走了。

　　When I got home, I found my wife in bed with the gardener.

　　我回到家，發現我老婆和園丁正在床上鬼混。

　　I left home and came to this bar.

　　我離開家，來到這個酒吧。

　　And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life,you show up and drink my poison"

　　而現在，正當我考慮要結束我的生命，你出現了，還喝了我的毒酒。”

　　篇三

　　A New Mum took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time.

　　一個年輕的媽媽頭一回帶著她的寶貝女兒到超市買東西，

　　She dressed her in pink from head to toe.

　　她把小寶貝從頭到腳穿上粉紅色的衣服。

　　At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her.

　　在商場，她把小女孩放在購物車裡，把買來的東西都推在孩子周圍。

　　At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them.

　　在付款臺前排隊時，一個小男孩和他媽媽正好排在她們前面。

　　The child was crying and begging for some special treat.

　　那個小男孩在哭，看上去在向他媽要著什麼東西，年輕的媽媽想，

　　He wants some candy or gumand his mother won't let him have any, she thought.

　　這個小孩一定是要糖果或是口香糖之類的玩意兒，而他媽媽又不給，所以才鬧得這麼厲害。

　　Then she heard his mother's reply.

　　然而就在這個時候，她聽到男孩的媽媽一邊回答說，

　　"No!"she said, looking in her direction.

　　“不行，”一邊往她的方向看過來，

　　"You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one"

　　“你今天不能買一個小妹妹了，那位女士把最後一個買走了!”