長篇英文笑話帶翻譯精選

　　不管文體與笑話如何相似，若他不能讓人發笑，那它就不能算是笑話。如果能引人發笑的，都可以將其看作笑話。小編精心收集了長篇英文笑話帶翻譯，供大家欣賞學習!

　　長篇英文笑話帶翻譯：誰最了不起

　　A judge, a bishop, and a conductor were having a discussion. All three were rather vain men, and their talk soon turned to the question of which of them was the greatest.

　　"Well," said the judge, "My position is one of dignity and power. When I walk into the courtroom, the bailiff says ‘All rise!’ and all the people stand to pay me honor."

　　"That's very nice," said the bishop. "People stand in your honor; but when people have an audience with me they kneel, kiss my ring, and they address me as 'Your Holiness.'"

　　The conductor snorted and said, "I think I got you both beat; when I step onto the podium, as guest conductor, the people look down, put their hands over their eyes, and say 'Oh, my God!'"

　　一個法官、一個教堂主教和一位指揮家正在進行一場辯論。三個人都是虛榮自負的人，他們的話題很快轉到他們之中誰是最偉大的人上。

　　“嗯，”法官說，“我的職業既高貴又擁有權力，當我走進法庭的時候，獄警會說‘全體起立!’接著所有人都會站起來向我致意。”

　　“好極了，”主教說，“人們站起來向你致敬。當我出現在教堂裡，人們會跪在我的面前，親吻我的戒指，並稱呼我為‘陛下’。”

　　指揮家哼了一聲，說道：“我覺得你們都不如我。當我作為客座指揮走上指揮台的時候，人們都垂著頭，用手捂著眼睛，說道，‘噢，我的上帝!’”

　　長篇英文笑話帶翻譯：世界上最聰明的狗

　　There once was a dog show to determine the world's smartest dog. Three dogs were in the final. One dog belonged to a doctor. One dog belonged to an engineer. And, one dog belonged to a lawyer.

　　For the final each dog was given a bag of bones to see what it could make. The doctor said, "Stethoscope, go!" The dog built a human skeleton.

　　The judges were ready to award the trophy right then. But, they decided to give the other dogs a try.

　　The engineer said, "Slide-rule, go!" The dog built a suspension bridge.

　　The judges were beside themselves. Which dog would they pick?

　　The lawyer said. "Loop-hole, go!" The dog ate the bones, got a percentage of all thetolls from the bridge and screwed the other two dogs.

　　在一場狗秀的活動中，人們要選出一隻世界上最聰明的狗。有三隻狗進入了決賽，它們的主人分別是：醫生，建築師和律師。

　　最後的比賽是給每隻狗一包骨頭，看看它們能用這些骨頭做些什麼。醫生說道：“聽診器，上!”這隻狗搭了一個人體骨骼。

　　裁判們想立即給這隻狗頒發獎品，但是他們還是決定給每隻狗一次機會。

　　建築師說道：“滑尺，上!”他的狗建造了一座懸橋。

　　裁判們左右為難，到底該選哪一隻呢?

　　律師說道：“鑽***法律***空子，上!”這隻狗吃掉了骨頭，對那座橋徵收了百分之百的稅，並向其他兩隻狗進行***。

　　長篇英文笑話帶翻譯： 媽媽，您可以下來了

　　The cruise ship my friend was working on socked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below.

　　The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70's appeared at the top of theplank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back at the top of the plank and shouted, "It's okay, mother, you can come down now."

　　我的一個朋友在遊船上工作。由於潮水當時漲得很高，船停靠在墨西哥的一個港口，遊客們不得不踩著一條很窄的跳板才能上岸。

　　當一位七十多歲的老婦人站在跳板的頂端時，船上所有的工作人員都嚇呆了。跳板太窄，根本沒有攙扶老人的空間。因此，老婦人只好慢慢地側著身子往下走，最終當她安全抵達碼頭後，大家懸著的心才放了下來。下來後，老婦人轉過身，衝著跳板的另一端喊道：“沒事的，媽媽，您現在可以下來了。”