經典有趣的英文笑話帶翻譯

　　英語笑話能反映出一個民族的價值系統及其對周圍世界肯定和否定的態度。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：Goes to the cinema

　　A boy goes to the cinema. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out. He buys a second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys a third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out a third time and asks for another ticket. The ticket seller says to him, "Why are you buying all these? Are you meeting friends in the cinema all the time?" "No, I;m not doing that." The small man says, "But a big woman always stops me at the door and tears my tickets up."

　　：Johnny is busy now

　　It was half-past eight in the morning. The telephone rang and Mary went to answer it.

　　'Hello, who's that?' she asked.

　　'It's me--Peter.'

　　Peter was a friend of Mary's eight-year-old brother, Johnny.

　　'Oh, hello, Peter. What do you want?' said Mary.

　　'Can I speak to Johnny?'

　　'No,' said Mary, 'you can't speak to him now. He is busy. He is getting ready for school. He is eating his breakfast. Grandmother is combing his hair. Sister is under the table, putting his shoes on. Mother is getting his books and putting them in his school bag. Goodbye, I'vegot to go now. I have to hold the door open. The school bus is coming.'

　　：The result of laziness

　　懶惰的結果

　　Mother: Why were you kept after school today, Johnny? Johnny: Teacher told us to write an essay on "The Result of Laziness", and I turned in a blank sheet of paper. 媽媽：約翰尼，你今天放學以後為什麼被留下了? 約翰尼：老師叫我們寫一篇題為《懶惰的結果》的作文，我交了一張白卷。

　　：Is ink so expensive

　　墨水很貴嗎

　　Son: Is ink so very expensive, father? Father: Why, son, what makes you think so? Son: W...well. Mother seems quite disturbed because I spilled some on the carpet. 兒子：爸爸，墨水很貴嗎? 父親：不貴呀，你為什麼這麼想? 兒子：哦，我把墨水灑了一點在地毯上，媽媽好象挺著急的。

　　：A school report

　　學校成績單

　　The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful***憤怒的*** as he read,

　　"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad***少年，小夥子***.

　　"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And hepointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."

　　父親在看他那滿懷希望的兒子帶回來的學校成績單。他邊看邊露出憤怒的表情：

　　“英語，差;法語，差;數學，中。”他厭惡地瞥了在發抖的兒子一眼。

　　“爸爸，”兒子說，“可能成績不夠理想。但您看到那一項了嗎?”他指了指下一行：“健康狀況，優。”