有趣的英文笑話帶翻譯

　　英語笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行為中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：I want a nightmare 真想做個噩夢

　　Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam."

　　"Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied.

　　"Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

　　在期末考試之前，湯姆告訴他的母親：“媽媽，我昨天晚上做了一個夢，夢見我通過了今天的考試。”

　　“不要相信夢，親愛的。據說夢中的經歷通常與現實相反。”媽媽答道。

　　“那麼，我真希望在今晚的夢中，我的其他功課都不及格。”湯姆說。

　　：When was Rome built

　　Teacher: When was Rome built? Tom: At night. Teacher: Who told you that? Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn't built in a day.

　　：Water your flowers every day

　　"Flowers need water," said the teacher. "Water your flowers every day, or they'lldie."

　　One morning Mother saw Marry out in the garden and asked, "What are you doing there, Marry?"

　　"Watering flowers," said Marry.

　　"But it is raining now!"

　　"Oh, it doesn't matter. Mum."

　　“花需要水，” 老師說，“每天給花澆水，否則他們會死掉的”。

　　一天早上，母親看到瑪麗在花園，就問：“瑪麗，你在幹嗎?”

　　“ 我在給花澆水。”瑪麗回答。

　　“可是在下雨啊!”

　　“哦，沒事媽媽。”

　　：Don't argue with the children

　　A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

　　The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.

　　The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

　　Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible.

　　The little girl said, "Well, when I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."

　　The teacher asked, sarcastically, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"

　　The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

　　一個小女孩和她的老師在說鯨魚。

　　老師說，鯨魚不可能吞了一個人，因為，即使這是一個非常大的哺乳動物，它的喉嚨是非常小。

　　小女孩說，約拿被一條鯨魚吞噬。

　　老師惱火的重申鯨魚不能吞下一個人身體是不可能的。

　　小女孩說， "好吧，當我到達天堂，我會問約拿" 。

　　老師問，反譏道： "什麼，如果約拿到地獄呢" ?

　　小女孩回答說： "那你問他" 。

　　：A Rithmetic Lesson

　　A little boy bustled***喧鬧，忙亂*** into a grocery one day with a memorandum***便箋*** in his hand.

　　″Hello, Mr. Smith,″He said, ″I want thirteen pounds of coffee at 33 cents.″

　　″Very good,″ said the grocer, and he noted down the sale.

　　″Anything else, Charlie?″

　　″Yes. Twenty-seven pounds of sugar at 9 cents.″

　　″The loaf? And whatelse?″

　　″Seven and a half pounds of bacon at 30 cents.″

　　″That will be a good brand. Goon.″

　　″Five pounds of tea at 90 cents, eleven and a half quarts of molasses at 8 cents a pint, two eight-pound hams at 31 cents, and five dozen jars of pickled walnuts***核桃*** at 34 cents a jar.″

　　The grocer made out the bill.

　　″It's a big order,″ he said. ″Did your mother tell you to pay for it?″

　　″My mother,″ said the boy, as he pocketed the neat and accurate bill, ″has nothing to do with this business. It is my arithmetic***算術*** lesson and I had to get it done somehow.″

　　一天，一個小男孩匆匆忙忙地走進了一家雜貨店，手裡拿著一張清單。

　　“史密斯先生，你好，”他說道：“3毛3分錢一磅的咖啡，請給我13磅。”

　　“好的，”雜貨店老闆馬上把這筆生意記了下來。

　　“還要別的什麼，查理?”

　　“要的。再要27磅糖，9分錢一磅的。”

　　“麵包要不要?還要什麼?”“7磅半鹹肉，3毛錢一磅的。”

　　“這肉是名牌的呢，還有呢?”

　　“9毛錢一磅的茶葉，給我5磅，8分錢一品脫的糖漿要11夸脫半，3毛1分錢一磅的8磅的大火腿要兩隻，3毛4分錢一罐的醃核桃要5打。”

　　雜貨店老闆把賬單算了出來。“你買了很多東西，”他說：“你媽媽叫你現在把錢付清嗎?”

　　小男孩一面把那清楚準確的賬單放進口袋，一面說：“這和我媽沒關係，這是我自己的算術作業,我總得想辦法把它做出來!”