英語短笑話故事帶翻譯

　　笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,從古至今都擁有廣大的受眾,深受人們喜愛。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Raccoons

　　Part of my job at the state fish and wildlife department is to lend equipment to residents for trapping and relocating raccoons. A man who had been successful at capturing one of the animals called to ask whether raccoons mated for life. He said his daughter was worried that they might have separated a monogamous couple.

　　"I don't know why she's so concerned," he added. "She's been married three times."

　　浣熊

　　我在州政府魚類和野生動物部門工作時，負責向居民們出借捕浣熊的裝備。一個人捕獲了一隻獵物，他打電話來詢問浣熊是否終生只有一個伴侶。他說他的女兒擔心他們可能拆散了一對終生伴侶。

　　“我不知道她為什麼這麼關心這事，”他補充說，“她自己已經結過三次婚了。”

　　：Did You Know Him?

　　At a dinner party in the home of friends, our host mentioned his highschool alma mater. One of the guests asked him if he had been a student there at the same time as a particular vice principal.

　　"I sure was!" answered the host. "He's the biggest jerk I've ever met. Did you know him too?"

　　"Sort of," replied the guest. "My mother married him last Saturday."

　　你認識他嗎?

　　在朋友家的一次宴會上，主人提起一位高中時的校友。一位客人問他讀書期間，某位副校長是否也在職。

　　“當然了，”主人答道。“他是我見過的最大的混蛋。你也認識他嗎?”

　　“有點認識，”客人回答。“我媽媽上週六嫁給了他。”

　　：Wait a Minute

　　Tom: My grand God, what does a millennium mean to you?

　　God: It only means a minute.

　　Tom: My omnipotent god, what do 10,000 golden coins mean to you?

　　God: Just a small coin.

　　Tom: My humane god, please give me a small coin.

　　God: Ok, poor man, please wait a minute.

　　等一分鐘

　　湯姆：我偉大的上帝，一千年對你來說，意味著什麼?

　　上帝：它只意味著一分鐘。

　　湯姆：我萬能的上帝，一萬枚金幣對你來說，意味著什麼?

　　上帝：它只意味著一枚小硬幣。

　　湯姆：我仁慈的上帝，那就請給我一枚小硬幣吧!

　　上帝：好吧，可憐的人，請等一分鐘吧。

　　：EXPENSIVE ADVICE

　　The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who sought advice on a health problem.

　　"Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.

　　"Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice."

　　"Thanks," the physician said. "I think I'll do that."

　　When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found a letter from the lawyer. It read:

　　"For legal services, $50."

　　昂貴的建議

　　大夫在打發走了一個就健康問題向他諮詢的婦女之後，最後來到餐桌上。

　　“你認為我應該向她收費嗎?”大夫問坐在身邊的一個律師。

　　“有什麼不應該?”律師答道，“你通過提建議提供了職業性服務。”

　　“謝謝，”大夫說道，“看來我得這麼做。”

　　第二天當大夫去辦公室給那位婦女寫賬單時，他收到律師的一封信。信中寫道：

　　“請付法律服務費50美元。”

　　：I'M NOT HAVING IT ALL CUT OFF.

　　Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.

　　"Hello, Miles," the manager said. "I see that you are having your hair cut in office time."

　　"Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly. "You see, sir, it grows in office time."

　　"Not all of it," said the manager at once. "Some of it grows in your own time."

　　"Yes, sir, that's quite true." Answered Miles politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off."

　　沒把頭髮全剪掉啊!

　　麥爾斯有時在上班時間去理髮館理髮，但這是違反辦公室規定的：職員只能利用自己的時間理髮。一天，正當麥爾斯理髮時，經理碰巧也進來理髮，而且就坐在他旁邊。

　　"你好，麥爾斯，"經理說。"我看到你在上班時間理髮了。"

　　"是的，先生。正是這樣。"麥爾斯平靜地承認了。"可先生，你看，頭髮是在上班時間長的。"

　　"不全都是吧，"經理立刻說，"有一些是在你自己的時間裡長的。"

　　"對呀，先生，你說得很對。"麥爾斯禮貌地回答說，"但我並沒有把頭髮全都剪掉啊。"