爆笑短篇英文笑話大全

　　笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。本文是爆笑短篇英文笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　爆笑短篇英文笑話：It's Too Late 太晚了

　　A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

　　A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

　　一個醫科學生被要求說明他給病人服的那種藥的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”

　　一分鐘後，這個學生問教授：“我可以改正我的回答嗎?”教授看看手錶，說：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒鐘以前死了。”

　　爆笑短篇英文笑話：Monkey and Policeman 猴子與警察

　　A policeman took a monkey to his boss. The boss asked, "What kind of monkey business are you getting up to?" He said, "This monkey was wandering on the streets, not following any of the rules. I'm turning him in". The boss said, "Oh, my God! You're so dumb! If you catch a monkey, you have to take it to the zoo. Why bring it to me. Take it to the zoo!" So the policeman took the monkey out.

　　Three or four days later, he was seen again, holding the monkey's hand. He took the monkey to the police car, opened the door,put it in, and was about to drive away. The boss saw this, ran out, and asked, "Oh, my God! How come the monkey is still here? I told you to take it to the zoo". The policeman replied, "Yes, sir. I've already taken him to the zoo. Today, I'm taking him to see a movie".

　　有一位警察大哥帶了只猴子給他上司看，他上司就說他：“你搞什麼猴子把戲?”警察大哥說：“這猴子在大街上到處亂跑，什麼法律都不懂，我把它捉了回來，治它的罪。”上司說：“天啊天，你怎麼那麼笨?捉到猴子就把它帶到動物園去嘛，帶給我幹嘛?帶它到動物園去。”後來那警察大哥就帶了猴子出去了。

　　三、四天後還看見他跟猴子手拉手開啟警車門讓猴子坐進去，正準備開車，他上司跑了出來說他：“天啊，為什麼到現在還把猴子留在這兒，我不是叫你把它帶到動物園去的嗎?為什麼還在這兒?”警察大哥：“我有呀!我已經帶它去了動物園，今天帶它去看電影!”

　　爆笑短篇英文笑話：I'm a chicken 我是一隻雞

　　Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

　　Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

　　Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

　　Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

　　精神病醫師：你哪裡不舒服?

　　病人：我認為我是一隻雞。

　　精神病醫師：這種情況從什麼時候開始的?

　　病人：從我還是一隻蛋的時候開始。

　　爆笑短篇英文笑話：You may put my beard on again

　　A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber brought one of his brooms. After he had shaved him, he asked for the price of the brooms.

　　"Two pence," said the man.

　　"No, no," said the barber. "I will give you a penny, and if you don't think that is enough, you may take your broom back!"

　　The man took it and asked what he had to pay his shave.

　　"A penny," said the barber.

　　"I will give you a half penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."