經典簡單英語笑話摘抄

　　內涵笑話多超常,能體現說話人的認知操作和知識結構;內涵笑話的轉喻式遠多於隱喻式,且平均每個內涵笑話擁有1.5個超常表達。下面小編整理了簡單英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　簡單英語笑話摘抄

　　律師和農場主***中英***

　　A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.

　　一位來自大城市的律師在一樁訴訟案中，代表鐵路部門同一位老農場主打官司。這個農場主的牛在有鐵路的地方不見了。他說牛一定是被火車撞了，所以要求賠償買牛的錢。

　　The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”

　　案子先要進行公審，才能被送到法庭後面的會議廳裡進行討論。農場主剛一出現，鐵路一方的律師就把他拉到了一旁，想進行庭外和解。最後律師盡其所能，說服了農場主，只支付他所要求賠償的一半。農場主簽完了契約，取走了支票以後，年輕的律師為自己的成功感到得意洋洋。他對農場主說:“老頭，你知道嗎，我本不想告訴你的，剛才我是嚇唬你。我本來贏不了這場官司的，那天早晨當火車穿過你的農場附近的時候，司機睡著了，火夫正在餐車裡。我根本找不出一個證人。我是嚇唬你的。”

　　The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”

　　老農場主說:“我要告訴你，小子，我覺得贏了這場官司，我有一些不安心，因為我那頭可愛的牛今天早晨已經回來了。”

　　簡單英語笑話鑑賞

　　隨你挑***中英***

　　Two IT guys were walking across the ark when one said, "Where did you get sucha great bike`?"

　　兩個從事資訊科技工作的男子穿過公園，其中一個說:“你從哪裡搞來了這麼一輛好自行車?”

　　The second IT guy replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want.’ The first IT guy nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit.”

　　第二個說:“我昨天在街上走，正在想我的工作，這時一個漂亮的女人騎著這車過來。她把車推倒在地上，脫下所有的衣服說:‘隨你挑。” 第一個男子點頭表示贊同地說:“你選的對，衣服不一定合適。”

　　簡單英語笑話賞析

　　西部的金髮牛仔***中英***

　　Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his am.

　　故事發生在很多年以前的西部，有兩位金髮牛仔。一個叫傑夫，一個叫大衛。一天，他們兩個人正在一個小酒館裡品嚐烈性酒，這時一個男的走進了酒館，腋下還夾了一個印第安人的頭。

　　The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children.” He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'II give him one thousand dollars.”

　　酒店老闆一邊搖手一邊說:“我討厭印第安人，上週那些可惡的傢伙把我的穀倉燒為了平地，強暴了我的太太，殺死了我的孩子們，”他接著說:“如果誰能給我帶來印度安人的頭，我就給他1000美元。”

　　The two blonds looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head. The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.

　　這兩個金髮牛仔互相看，走出酒館去尋找印弟安人了。他們走了一段時間，突然看到了一個。傑夫向那個印第安人扔了一塊石頭，正擊中了他的腦袋。印第安人從馬上摔了下來，掉到了70英尺深的峽谷裡。他們兩個人沿著峽谷跑了下去。大衛取出了刀子正準備取下戰利品:印度安人的頭。

　　Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave，take a look at this.” Dave replied, "Not now, I’m busy.”

　　突然，傑夫說:“大衛，快看那邊。”大衛說:“現在不行，我正忙著呢。”

　　Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this.”Dave said，“Look，you can see I’m busy. There’s a thousand dollars in my hand.” But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave，take a look at this.”So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians. Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh. . . my …God…we're going to be millionaires!”

　　傑夫拍著他的肩膀說:“我真的希望你能看一下那邊。”大衛說:“你沒看見我正在忙嗎，我現在手裡可是1000美元呢。”可是傑夫堅持說:“大衛，你一定要看看那邊。”於是大衛抬起頭來看，原來在峽谷的頂上有大約5000個印第安人。他搖著頭說:“我的天啊，我們要成百萬富翁了。”