關於較長的英文笑話閱讀

　　看英語笑話，笑一笑，十年少，越笑越年輕，不過不要笑過頭，會肚子痛的。小編分享關於較長的英文笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　關於較長的英文笑話：Guilty, guilty...

　　A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked.

　　On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench.

　　"Your Honor," he said, " I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against thedefendant.

　　I took one look at the man in his blue suit with those beady eyes and

　　that dishonest face and I said 'He's a crook!

　　He's guilty, guilty, guilty!' So your Honor, I can not possibly stay on

　　this jury!"

　　With a tired annoyance, the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box. That man is his lawyer."

　　關於較長的英文笑話：Cigars

　　A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined."

　　"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.

　　"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"

　　"Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge."

　　Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!"

　　"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."

　　"But, I did send them."

　　"What? You did?" said the lawyer, incredulously.

　　"Yes. That's how we won the case."

　　"I don't understand," said the lawyer.

　　"It's easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card."

　　關於較長的英文笑話：Mrs. Johnson

　　A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig.

　　The man was found guilty and fined. After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?"

　　The judge said that was true.

　　"Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked.

　　The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.

　　The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."

　　關於較長的英文笑話：Gold watch

　　A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police.

　　"For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on my nightstand in my bedroom."

　　When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him "Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?"

　　"What?" said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?"

　　"I gave it to the first one," said the wife, "he knew exactly where it was."