關於中長篇英語笑話欣賞

　　笑話可以幫助我們減輕人生的各種壓力，消除工作上帶來的緊張和焦慮，戰勝煩惱，振奮精神。本文是關於中長篇英語笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關於中長篇英語笑話：Trust

　　A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial which went like this:

　　Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?

　　A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offenderrunning several blocks away.

　　Q: Officer, who provided this description?

　　A: The officer who responded to the scene.

　　Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?

　　A: Yes sir, with my life.

　　Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer--do you have a locker room in the police station--a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?

　　A: Yes sir, we do.

　　Q: And do you have a locker in that room?

　　A: Yes sir, I do.

　　Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?

　　A: Yes sir.

　　Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?

　　A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.

　　關於中長篇英語笑話：Still a virgin

　　A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

　　On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

　　"What?" said the puzzled groom.

　　"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

　　"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

　　Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

　　Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

　　Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

　　Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

　　Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

　　Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

　　Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

　　Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

　　Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

　　"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

　　"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

　　關於中長篇英語笑話：Shot duck

　　A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas.

　　He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

　　As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

　　The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going toretrieve it."

　　The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

　　The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

　　The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick-Rule."

　　The lawyer asked, What is the Texas Three-Kick-Rule?."

　　The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

　　The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

　　The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.

　　His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on thisbelly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

　　The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "OK, you old coot! now, it's my turn."

　　The old farmer smiled and said, "No I give up, you can have the duck.