關於中長篇英文笑話故事

　　民間笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛的民間敘事型別,材料豐富,有廣泛的現實基礎。但是它卻一直被學界視為不登大雅之堂的小眾,研究工作相對薄弱。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：Fast Car

　　One day, an extremely rich business man decides that the time has come to indulge himself. He has been working hard and making money all his life, and he rarely spends any of it on himself. So he goes out and buys the world's fastest commercial vehicle: the all-custom 2001 ChevroletZoom. This puppy can hit 350 mph on a straightaway and has all the trimmings. Leather, CD, Sunroof, GPS, everything. It cost him a cool $3 million.

　　He decides to take it for an afternoon spin. He's just cruising around town with one arm out the window, having the time of his life, when he gets to a red light. He pulls up next to an old guy on a little moped who is already waiting at the light.

　　"Now THAT'S a car," the old guy says with awe. "What on earth did that cost you?"

　　"Three million," the rich guy proclaimed. "And that was a steal. This here is the world's fastest commercial vehicle."

　　"You're kidding!" the old guy scoffed. "How fast?"

　　"350."

　　The old guy's jaw dropped. "Hey, do you mind if I take a look around inside real quick?"

　　"Not at all," the rich guy said.

　　The old guy leans way over and sticks his head in the window. After looking around for a few seconds, he sits back down on his moped. "That's a fine car," he said, nodding his head.

　　Just then, the stoplight turned to green, and the rich guy decided to show this old man what his car is really capable of. He floors it out of the intersection, and in a few seconds he is happily cruising along at 350 mph.

　　He happens to glance in his rearview mirror, and notices to his dismay a speck on the horizon that seems to be getting closer. Sure enough, the speck comes closer and closer untilWHOOSH! it passes him. The rich guy just can't figure out what's going on here, so he pulls over. He sees the speck again on the horizon in front of him coming back towards him, and sure enough, WHOOSH! it passes him again. This time, though, he was prepared and got a better look at it. He could have sworn that he saw the old guy on the moped. "But that's impossible," he thought to himself.

　　Once again, the thing was coming back at the rear of his car, only this time it looked like it was going to hit. And hit it did. There was a loud crash as the thing slammed into the back of the Chevy Zoom.

　　The rich guy jumps out of the car and runs around to the back, where the old guy is dying on the road, pieces of his moped scattered around him.

　　"Oh, my God!" the rich guy said, horrified. "Is there anything I can do?"

　　"Yes," the old man responded feebly. "Before I die, I want you to unhook my suspenders from your side mirror."

　　： Mom's Failing Grade

　　A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older.

　　The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this too, as you grow up."

　　The girl still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, "Mommy, Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

　　The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."

　　The little girl, frustrated, sulks until she is dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consults with her friend about her and her mother's conversation. Her friend says, "All you have to do is sneak and look at your mother's driver's license. It's just like a report card from school. It tells you everything."

　　Later, the little girl and her mother are out and about again. The little girl starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are, You're 32 years old."

　　The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"

　　The little girl shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds."

　　"Where did you learn that?", said the mother again.

　　The little girl says, "I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an "F" in sex."

　　：Skiing Accident

　　A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart.

　　Ski conditions were perfect, 12-below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over, the "tell me when we're having fun" kind of day. One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a restroom.

　　He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away. If you have ever had nature hit its panic button in you,

　　then you know that a temperature of 12 below zero doesn't help matters.

　　So, with time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband, picking up on theintensity of her pain, suggested that since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should just go off in the

　　woods. No one would even notice, he assured her. The white would provide more than adequatecamouflage.

　　So she headed for the tree line, began disrobing, and proceeded to do her thing. If you have ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a right way and a wrong way to set your skis so you don't move.

　　Yup, you got it. She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not forgiving, even during embarrassing moments. Without warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out of control, racing

　　through the trees, somehow missing all of them and out onto another slope.

　　Her derriere and her reverse side were still bare, her pants down around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while. She continued on backwards, totally out of control, creating an unusual vista for the other skiers.

　　The woman skied, if you define that verb loosely, back under the ski lift and finally collided violently with a pylon. The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants.

　　At long last her husband arrived, put an end to her nudie show, then went to the base of the mountain and summoned the ski patrol, who transported her to a hospital.

　　In the emergency room she was regrouping when a man with an obviously broken leg was put into the bed next to hers.

　　"So how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk.

　　"It was the darndest thing you ever saw", he said. "I was riding up this ski lift and suddenly I couldn't believe my eyes. There was this crazy woman skiing backward out of control down the mountain with her bare bottom hanging out of her clothes and her pants down around her knees. I leaned over to get a better look and I guess I didn't realize how far I'd moved. I fell out of the lift....

　　...So how'd you break your arm?"