讓你笑不停的英語笑話

　　冷笑話是近幾年新興的一種語言現象,它輕鬆詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕鬆的情趣,它一出現便受到了大多數人的喜愛。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　明顯的職業

　　Our annual high school faculty party was held at a popular restaurant. By late evening，our waiter looked dead on his feet. My husband told him to pull up a chair.“Are all you folks teachers?"the young man asked.

　　我們每年一度的中學教師聯誼會是在一家很時髦的飯店舉行的。到了晚上，服務員的腳都要累僵了，我丈夫告訴他拿把椅子坐坐，“你們這些人都是教師嗎?”這個年輕人問.

　　"Why，yes,"I replied. "What makes you ask?"

　　“是呀，怎麼了?”我說:“你怎麼想起問這個問題了?”

　　" I never waited on a group like this before，”he said."Every time one of you wants something，you raise your hand."

　　“我從來沒為這樣的人服務過，他們一旦有請求，總是都舉手示意。”他說。

　　篇二

　　給予重視

　　Whenever my husband, Ben, does minor work on the car，he invites our six-year-old grandson, Jake，to help.

　　每當我丈夫貪，給汽車進行大檢修時，他總是叫我們六歲的孫子傑克來幫助.

　　One day，Jake's Daddy asked him, "What does Grandpa pay you for all that help you give him?"

　　有一天，傑克的爸爸問他:“你幫爺爺幹了那麼多的活，他給了你點什麼?”

　　Hands on hips，Jake Looked at his Daddy in the eye and replied，"Grandpa pays me attention.”

　　傑克雙手放在屁股上，緊盯著爸爸的眼睛，回答說:“爺爺給了我足夠的重視.”

　　篇三

　　Half-lost

　　同往常一樣，我和朋友外出去跑步。我戴上了我的新皮手套。我告訴我的朋友，這副手套我是花50美元買的.戴上這新的暖融融的手套，很快我就感到兩手出汗了.我把手套摘了下來，放進了口袋裡。望著蔚藍的天空，我的情緒特別好。所以，一路上我和朋友追逐著。

　　I started my uaual running with my friend as I put on my new leather gloves.I told my friend that they cost me 50 dollars. As I felt that my hands were sweating inside the new, warm gloves on the way, I took them off and tucked them into my pockets. The sky was so blue and I was in a good mood，so 1 chased my friend on the road.

　　十分鐘後，當我再想戴手套時，卻發現口袋裡空了。我感到十分沮喪.

　　Ten minutes later when I was going to wear them again, I suddenly realised that my pockets were empty. I felt greatly distressed.

　　後來，我和朋友一起順著原路找手套，在路邊我們找到了一隻。

　　Later，my friend was willing to retrace the route with me，and we found one glove along the road.

　　我的朋友說:“其不錯，現在你只丟了25美元。”

　　"Wow !"said my friend,”now you have only lost $25."

　　篇四

　　幫倒忙

　　"I'll need to see your license and registration,"says the highway patrolman after stopping a middle-aged couple."You were speeding.”

　　高速公路上的警察攔住了一對中年夫婦，說:“我要看看你的駕駛證和車證，你超速了.”

　　"But，officer,"says the husband, "I was way under the speed limit.”

　　“可是，長官，我一直在限制以下的速度開車。”大夫說。

　　"Sir, you were doing 63 in a 55 Zone.”

　　“先生，你在限速55英里的地區開到了63英里。”

　　"I was not speeding!"insists the man. 'Your radar gun must be broken. "

　　“我沒有超速，”那個人堅特說:“你的雷達掃瞄一定有問題了。”

　　At this point, the wife leans over. "It''s no use arguing with him, officer,"she says apologetically."He always gets this stubborn when he's been drinking."

　　這時，他的老婆湊了上來:“警察先生，你不用跟他爭論了，”她帶著抱歉的口氣說:“每一次喝酒，他就變得這麼固執。”

　　篇五

　　大夫的許諾

　　A guy spots his doctor in the shopping center. He stops and says. "Two months ago when I was in your office， you told me to go home，get into bed and stay there until you called. But you never called. "I didn't?"the doctor says."Then what are you doing out of bed?"

　　一個人在購物中心看見了給他看病的大夫，他叫住了大夫說:“兩個月前，我到你辦會室去看病，你讓我回來躺在床上，等你的電話。但你從來就沒打過電話.”

　　大夫說:“我沒打過電話嗎?那你下床幹什麼呢?”