笑破肚皮的英語笑話大全

　　近年來,冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現象在網路、雜誌上十分盛行。若要推論現行冷笑話的來源,或已無從考證。下面是小編帶來的笑破肚皮的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　笑破肚皮的英語笑話篇一

　　The Burned Ears

　　A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened.

　　一個男人的兩隻耳朵都被燙傷了...在醫院的時候別人就問他是如何燙到的。

　　He said, "I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang...so instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear..."

　　他說：“我正在熨衣服的時候，電話響了...當時我把熨斗當成電話抓起來接聽了。”

　　"But how the heck did you burn the other ear?" The doctor asked.

　　醫生說：“但是你是如何燙到另一隻耳朵的呢?”

　　"How do you think I called you people?"

　　“因為我想給你打電話呀!”

　　笑破肚皮的英語笑話篇二

　　Make Money 掙錢

　　A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

　　一位年輕人請教一位十分有錢的老人如何變得如此富有。

　　The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

　　老人撫摸著身上的精紡羊毛衫說：“孩子啊，1932年，全國經濟大蕭條，當時我身上只有一個五分鎳幣。”

　　"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

　　“我用這僅有的五分錢投資買了一個蘋果，然後用了一整天的時間來擦它，到了晚上的時候，我把這隻蘋果賣掉了，賣了10分錢。”

　　"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.

　　“第二天早上，我用這十分錢買了兩個蘋果，用了一整天的時間擦他們。大約下午5點左右，我把他們賣了，賣了20分錢。就這樣過了一個月，月末的時候，我居然一共掙了一塊三毛七。”

　　"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

　　“這時，我的岳父去世了，留給了我們兩百萬。”

　　笑破肚皮的英語笑話篇三

　　Does dog know the proverb?

　　Does dog know the proverb? 狗也知道這個諺語嗎?

　　A little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. 一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。　　　 "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"“沒有關係，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你不知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

　　"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”

　　笑破肚皮的英語笑話篇四

　　Disappearing Act

　　When a woman reported her husband missing, the officer in charge looked at the photograph she handed him, then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him. "Yes," she replied readily. "Tell him my mother isn't visiting after all."

　　一個女人向警察報案，說丈夫失蹤了。警察看過丈夫的照片，問女人如果他們能找到她丈夫，她有沒有什麼要和丈夫說的。女人很樂意地說：“是的，告訴他我媽媽不來了。”

　　笑破肚皮的英語笑話篇五

　　The amazing golf ball 神奇的高爾夫球

　　A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"

　　一個高爾夫球手正要發球，跑上來一個無限諂媚的小個子推銷員，喊到：“ 等一下。在您發球前，我請您看一樣超神奇的東西。”

　　The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"

　　高爾夫球手頗感被打攪，說道：“什麼東西啊?”

　　"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"

　　“是一個很特別的高爾夫球 - 一個永遠不會被弄丟的球!”

　　"you can never lose it"，scoffs the golfer, "What if you hit it into the water?

　　“永遠不會丟的球”，高爾夫球手嘲諷地說，“如果球被打到水裡呢?”

　　"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."

　　“沒問題。它能漂起來，還能探測到哪裡是岸，然後自己就能轉到岸邊。”

　　"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"

　　“那麼如果掉到樹叢裡呢?”

　　"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."

　　“簡單。它能發出嘟嘟聲，這樣你就能循聲而至了。”

　　"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"

　　“那如果天黑了怎麼找它呢?”

　　"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!"

　　“球會在黑暗中發光啊!一句話，你永遠不會找不到這個球。”

　　The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?"

　　高爾夫球手當即買下這個球，隨口問了一句：“你從哪搞到它的?”

　　"I found it."

　　“是我撿到的啦!”