關於簡短英文笑話精選

　　笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行為中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點。小編精心收集了關於簡短英文笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　關於簡短英文笑話：Marriage

　　A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they’re just lying there, the phone rings. Since it’s the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver.

　　Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation. “Hello? Oh, hi. I’m so glad that you called. Really? That’s wonderful. I am so happy for you. That soundsterrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye, bye.” She hangs up the phone and her lover asks, “Who was that?” “Oh” she replies, “That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having on his fishing trip with YOU!”

　　關於簡短英文笑話：Illnesses

　　A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were

　　spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne

　　and began undressing.

　　When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked,"Ewww

　　- what's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird.

　　Why are your feet so gross?"

　　"I had tolio as a child," he answered.

　　"You mean polio?" she asked. "No, tolio. The disease only

　　affected my toes."

　　The bride was satisfied with this explanation, and they continued

　　undressing. When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again

　　wrinkled up her nose. "What's wrong with your knees?"

　　she asked. "They're all lumpy and deformed!"

　　"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained.

　　"You mean measles?" she asked.

　　"No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."

　　The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer. As the undressing

　　continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.

　　"Don't tell me," she said. "Let me guess... Smallcox?"

　　關於簡短英文笑話：Adam Mate

　　One day while walking through the Garden of Eden, Adam looked up to the Heavens andspoke to God. "Father this place is great, but there is one thing missing".

　　"What is that my son", God answered.

　　"Well it would be nice to have a mate, I'm awfully lonely down here and all the other animal have mates but me. All I'm asking for is a creature more beautiful than the Garden, one who has a sex drive like mine, never has a headache and one who will cook, clean and be at my beckoncall morning, noon and night." said Adam.

　　"Wow that's a tall order, but I have just such a creature in mind, but it's going to cost you". said God.

　　"Oh yeah, how much?" said Adam

　　"An arm and a leg." replied God.

　　Adam thought this over for quite some time and then asked "Well, what can I get for a rib?"

　　關於簡短英文笑話：Mixed Up Words

　　A girl walked up to the information desk in her local hospital and said, "I need

　　to see the upturn, please."

　　"I think, you mean the 'intern,' don't you?" asked the nurse on duty.

　　"Yes," said the girl. "I want to have a 'contamination.'"

　　"Don't you mean 'examination,'" the nurse questioned her again.

　　"Well I want to go to the 'fraternity ward,' anyway."

　　"I'm sure you mean the maternity ward."

　　To which the girl replied: "Upturn, intern; contamination, examination; fraternity,

　　maternity.... What's the difference? All I know is I haven't demonstrated in two

　　months, and I think I'm stagnant."

　　關於簡短英文笑話：Revenge

　　A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet, rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately.

　　When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does she begins to gently caress his full beard.

　　"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

　　"Actually, no," the man replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him" she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

　　"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

　　"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefingeracross the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

　　"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

　　"Tell him," she whispers "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the women's bathroom...."