簡短有哲理的英語笑話摘抄

　　冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,也是一種出現在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語言現象。小編整理了簡短有哲理的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　簡短有哲理的英語笑話篇一

　　Vacationing on the island of Oahu, we were waiting in our tour bus for some stragglers to showup. A man, obviously not with our group, approached the bus and was about to board. Howwould our driver handle the situation, we wondered. Straight-faced, he leaned toward the doorand asked, "Going to the nudist Colony, sir?"

　　"Oh, no," replied the would-be passenger, retreating quickly.

　　"Works every time," the driver said with a wink.

　　在瓦湖島上度假時，我們坐在旅遊車裡等候掉隊的人。一位男子，明顯不是和我們一起的，朝旅遊車走來並要上車。司機會怎麼處理這種情況呢?我們都拭目以待。司機拉長了臉，向車門靠過去，問道：“先生，是去裸體營地嗎?”

　　“哦，不，”剛想乘車的男子回答說，迅速轉身而逃。

　　“每次都管用，”司機眨巴了一下眼睛說。

　　簡短有哲理的英語笑話篇二

　　A Bad Doctor

　　A man walked into a doctor's examining room.

　　"Put out your tongue," the doctor said.

　　The man put out his tongue and the doctor said.

　　"0. K. You can put your tongue back now. " the doctor said. "it's clear what's wrong withyou . You need more exercise."

　　"But, doctor, " the man said. "I don't think--"

　　" Don't tell I me what you think, " the doctor said 揑 am the doctor, not you. I know whatyou need. I see hundreds of people like you. None of them get any exercise. They sit in officesall day and in front of the television in the evening. What you need is to walk quickly for at least20 minutes a day. "

　　"Doctor, you don't understand," the patient said "I -"

　　"I don't want to hear any excuses, " the doctor said. "You must find time for exercise. Ifyou don't, you will get fat and have health problems when you are older. "

　　"But I walk every clay," the patient said.

　　"Oh, yes, and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet to the train stationfrom your house, a few more feet from the station to your office , and a few more feet fromyour office to a restaurant for lunch and back. That's not real walking. I'm talking about a walkin the park for twenty minutes every day. "

　　Please listen to me, doctor! " the patient shouted, getting angry with this doctor whothought he knew everything.

　　"I'm a mailman," the patient went on, "and I walk for seven hours every day. "

　　For a moment the doctor was silent, then he said quietly, "Put your tongue out again, willyou?"

　　庸醫

　　一人走進一家診所。

　　“伸出舌頭，”醫生說。

　　那人伸出舌頭，醫生很快地看了一下。

　　“好了，把舌頭縮回去吧。”醫生說，“你的病因很明顯。你需要更多的運動。”

　　“但是，醫生，”那人說，“我不認為----”

　　“不要告訴我你認為怎麼樣，”醫生說，“我是醫生，不是你。我知道你需要什麼。我看過數以百計的你這樣的病人。他們沒有一個人鍛鍊過。他們整天坐在辦公室裡，晚上就坐在電視機前。你所需要的是每天至少快跑20分鐘。”

　　“醫生，你不知道，”病人說，“我----”

　　“我不想聽任何理由。”醫生說，“你應該抽出時間來運動。如果你不鍛鍊，那麼當你老的時候，你就會變得很胖，並且有健康問題。”

　　“但我每天都走路的，”病人說。

　　“喔，是的。我知道那是一種怎樣的散步。你走幾英尺的路，從家到火車站，又走幾英尺從車站到辦公室，然後走幾英尺從辦公室到餐館去吃中飯再回來。那不是真正的散步。我所說的是每天在公園裡散步20分鐘。”

　　“請聽我說，醫生!”病人叫起來，對那位自以為什麼都知道的醫生很生氣。

　　“我是一名郵遞員，”病人接著說，“我每天得走7小時的路。”

　　醫生悶在那裡半天無語。然後他輕聲地說：“再把你的舌頭伸出來，行嗎?”

　　簡短有哲理的英語笑話篇三

　　I've Just Bitten My Tongue

　　"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

　　"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

　　"Because I've just bitten my tongue! "

　　我剛咬破自己的舌頭

　　“我們有毒嗎?”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。

　　“是的，寶貝”，她回答說，“你問這個幹什麼?”

　　“因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。”