關於大學英語笑話帶翻譯

　　笑話能夠折射出社會生活中的方方面面,可以在說笑中蘊含著人們對於美好生活的期盼和訴求。下面是小編帶來的關於大學英語笑話帶翻譯，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　一個吝嗇的傢伙

　　Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.

　　"Let’s go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven’t been anywhere for a long time."

　　Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything. "

　　They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.

　　Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.

　　"Fun flights!" the notice said, " $ 10 for 10 minutes.

　　Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.

　　"I’ve only got $ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, "I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight."

　　Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.

　　The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.

　　When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn’t make a sound. She can have her ride free."

　　"Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."

　　在空中

　　麥特和妻子住在鄉下。麥特很吝嗇，討厭花錢。一天附近的鎮子逢集。

　　“我們去趕集，麥特，”妻子說。“我們很久沒出去了。”

　　麥特想了一會兒。他知道在集市上一定得花錢。最後他說：“好吧，但我不打算花太多錢。我們只看不買。”

　　他們去集市，看看所有可買的東西。有很多東西麥特的妻子想買，但麥特不讓她買。

　　然後在附近的露天場地，他們看到一架小飛機。

　　“有趣的飛行。”海報上寫著，“10分鐘10美元。”

　　麥特從來沒有乘過飛機，所以他想乘一次小飛機。然而他不想付他妻子的票錢。

　　“我只帶了10美元，”他對飛機駕駛員說，“我妻子能免費和我一起乘飛機嗎?”駕駛員沒賣出多少票，所以他說：“我和你做個交易。如果你妻子不尖叫，也不叫出聲來，她就能免費飛行。”

　　麥特同意了，他和妻子一起登上了飛機。

　　飛機起飛了，駕駛員讓飛機做出各種各樣的動作。有一會兒飛機倒著飛行。

　　飛機著陸時，駕駛員說，“好吧，你妻子沒發出任何聲響。她就不用買飛機票了。”

　　“謝謝，”麥特說，“你知道，這對她不容易，特別當她剛才掉下去的時候。”

　　篇二

　　Don't You Like Any of Our Colours Today?

　　Mrs. Green was eighty，but she had a small car，and she always drove to the shops in it on Saturday and bought her food.

　　She did not drive fast，because she was old，but she drove well and never hit anything. Sometimes her grandchildren said to her，“Please don't drive your car，grandmother. We can take you to the shops.”

　　But she always said，“No，I like driving. I've driven for fifty years，and I'm not going to stop now.”

　　Last Saturday she stopped her car at some traffic-lights because they were red，and then it did not start again. The lights were green，then yellow，then red，

　　then green again，but her car did not start.

　　“What am I going to do now?” She said.

　　But then a policeman came and said to her kindly，“Good morning. Don't you like any of our colours today?”

　　格林太太八十歲了。她有一輛小型轎車，每逢星期六她總是開著這輛車去購買食品。

　　因為年紀大了，格林太太車子開得不快，不過她開車技術很高，從來沒有出過事。有時她的孫子孫女們對她說：“奶奶，您別***，我們可以送您去商店。”

　　但她總是說：“不，我喜歡開車。我已經開了五十年了，現在還不想撒手。”

　　上星期六，她看見交通燈是紅色就剎住了車。後來車子熄火了。交通燈由綠色轉為黃色，然後轉為紅色，又轉變為綠色，可她的車子還是發動不起來。

　　“現在我該怎麼辦呢?”她說。

　　這時一位警察走過來，和氣地對她說：“早上好，今天交通燈的顏色沒有一樣您喜歡嗎?”

　　篇三

　　A gentleman was sitting quietly in a first-class compartment. Two ladies got in. One of them saw that the window was open and she shut it before sitting down."Open it again," said the second lady, "I'll die of suffocation***窒息，悶死*** if there is no fresh air.""I won't open it," said the first lady, "I'll die of cold if the window is open."A querrel started, and it continued until the gentleman spoke:"Let's have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. After that it will be nice and quiet in here again."

　　解決問題的好辦法 一位紳士正靜靜地坐在頭等包廂裡，有兩位女士走了進來。其中一位見窗戶開著，就在落坐之前把窗戶“把窗戶開啟，”第二位女士說道，“如果沒有新鮮空氣，我會被憋死的。” “不能開啟，”第一位說道，“如果它開著，我會被凍死的。” 一場爭吵開始，沒完沒了，直到那位紳士開口： “我們先讓窗戶關著，直到把這位女士憋死，然後再開啟窗戶，直到把這位女士凍死。那以後，這兒就可以恢復平靜了。”