笑到停不下來的英語笑話大全

　　笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行為中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點;笑話能反映出一個民族的價值系統及其對周圍世界肯定和否定的態度。下面是小編帶來的笑到停不下來的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　笑到停不下來的英語笑話篇一

　　Okay, Who Cut the Cheesee?

　　誰在放屁?

　　A young man was visiting his girlfriend's parents for the first time.

　　有位年輕人第一次去拜訪女朋友的父母親。

　　He had been quite nervous about it, and his nervousness was manifesting itself as gastricdistress.

　　他好緊張，緊張到腸胃不舒服。

　　Agonizingly, he felt the urgent need to release some intestinal gas.

　　令人苦惱的是，他急著要排除腸內的空氣。

　　Surreptitiously, he emitted a "silent but deadly. "

　　於是他放了個臭得要命的悶屁。

　　"Rover! " the girlfriend's mother admonished.

　　“路寶!”女朋友的媽媽警告家裡的狗。

　　The young man realized that the family dog was sitting under his chair, and saw a way out ofhis difficultieis.

　　那個老兄知道他女朋友家的狗就坐在他椅子下，想出了一個解決難題的方法來。

　　Desperately seeking relief, he let out a Larger hooter.

　　他急於舒解，便放了一個更大的響屁。

　　"Rover!" shouted the mother.

　　“路寶!”媽媽又一次叫著她家的狗。

　　Thinking his problems were over for sure, the young guy emitted a real window rattler.

　　年輕人以為他的問題已經結束了，於是他放了一個連窗戶都為之振動的大響屁。

　　"Rover ! " cried the mother, "get over here before he shits on you."

　　“路寶!”媽媽喊道，“快過來這邊，免得他在你身上拉屎!”

　　笑到停不下來的英語笑話篇二

　　Put Yourself in My Place

　　設身處地替人想一想

　　Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse,

　　某一農場上，老媽要老爸去修理茅房。

　　Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Mom.

　　老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回來了。

　　"There ain't nothin' wrong with that shithouse, Mom. "

　　“那個茅房什麼問題也沒有啊，孩子的娘。”

　　Mom took Dad back to the out house and stuck his head down in the hole.

　　老媽將老爸帶回茅房，把他的頭塞進茅坑當中。

　　"Hey," said Dad, "my beard is stuck!"

　　“嘿!”老爸說道，“我的鬍子粘住了!”

　　"Aggravatin', ain't it?"

　　“問題嚴重了，是不是呢?”

　　笑到停不下來的英語笑話篇三

　　Down on the Farm

　　農場趣談

　　The farmer was painting the inside of his outhouse,

　　一位農夫正在漆他茅房內的牆壁，

　　when he slipped on the seat and fell into the hole beneath.

　　一不小心由所坐的椅子上滑了一跤，跌落到下面的茅坑內。

　　"Fire! Fire! Fire!" he yelled.

　　“失火了!失火了!失火了!”他叫道。

　　Shortly, the fire department arrived and one of the firemen leaned down and asked the farmer,

　　不久消防隊趕來了，一位消防人員彎下身來問：

　　"Where's the fire?"

　　“哪裡失火了呢?”

　　"There ain't no fire," said the farmer,

　　“事實上並未失火，”農夫說，

　　"but would you have come if I'd yelled "Shit! Shit! Shit ! ? "

　　“但若是我喊“大便喔!大便喔!你們會趕來嗎?”

　　笑到停不下來的英語笑話篇四

　　Charity Begins at Home

　　慈善應由家中做起

　　Sam Sidney was going door to door selling raffle tickets to raise funds for the charitableorganization of which he was a member.

　　山姆，希德尼正挨家挨戶推銷他所屬的一家慈善機構的彩券以籌募基金。

　　One morning found him knocking on the door of old Mrs. Sullivan.

　　有一天早上他敲了蘇利文太太的門。

　　"Good morning, Mrs. Sullivan, I represent the South Savannah Singing and Social Society" saidSam.

　　“您早!蘇利文太太，我是代表南方薩瓦那音樂及公關協會的。”

　　"What's it that you say?" croaked the old lady.

　　“你說什麼啊?，’老太太大聲問道。

　　"I SAY I'M SELLING RAFFLE TICKETS FOR THE SOUTH SAVANNAH SING-ING AND SOCIALSOCIETY ! "

　　“我說我正為南方薩瓦那音樂及公關協會賣彩券!”

　　"Eh?"

　　“哦?”

　　"RAFFLE TICKETS! SOUTH SAVANNAH SINGING AND SOCIAL SOCIETY! "

　　“彩券!南方薩瓦那音樂及公關協會!”

　　"You'll have to speak up, young man, there's no use mumbling.

　　“你應當說大聲點，年輕人，喃喃低語是沒用的。”

　　"Well, fuck you, Mrs. Sullivan," said Sam under his breath as he turned away.

　　“喔!去你的，蘇利文太太!”山姆離開時屏氣說。

　　Mrs. Sullivan closed the door and said, "Well, fuck the South Savannah Singing and SocialSociety. "

　　蘇利文太太關門說道： “***的，南方薩瓦那音樂及公關協會!”

　　笑到停不下來的英語笑話篇五

　　A Satisfied Gustomer

　　一位心滿意足的客戶

　　A rough looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.

　　有一位相貌粗魯的傢伙走進銀行對櫃檯職員說:

　　"I wanna open a god-damned checking account. "

　　“我想開個***的活期存款賬戶。”

　　"CertainLy, sir," replied the young lady, “but there's no need to use that kind of language."

　　“當然可以啦，先生，”年輕的小姐回答說，“但沒有必要使用那種字眼。”

　　"Hey, get your ass in gear, will ya? I'm in a hurry.

　　“嘿，***的能不能快一點嗎?我在趕時間呢!”

　　"Sir, I’m not used to being spoken to in that way. "

　　“先生，我不習慣別人那樣子對我說話。”

　　"I wanna open a fucking checking account, and I want to do it now, understand?"

　　“我要開一個××的活期存款賬戶，而且要現在就辦，懂了嗎?”

　　"Sir, I'm going to get the manager," said the indignant young lady.

　　“先生，我去找經理來。”氣憤的年輕小姐說著。

　　Soon she returned with the manager, a dignified white haired gentleman who asked, "Whatseems to be the trouble, sir?"

　　不久她帶了經理回來，那位滿頭白髮、看起來很莊嚴的老先生問道：“先生，到底有什麼問題嗎?

　　“I just won $10,000,000 in the lottery, and I want to open a goddamn checking account. "

　　“我剛中彩券得了一千萬美元，我想開個***的活期存款賬戶。”

　　"I see," said the manager warmly. "And this bitch is giving you trouble?"

　　“我知道了，”經理說道，“而這個臭婊子在給您添麻煩，是吧?”