讓人笑到爆的短小經典冷笑話

　　與一般日常會話不同,笑話刻意地違反合作原則,引匯出會話含意,並且利用會話含意之間的衝突來達到其預定功能。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Good Points and Bad Points 優缺點

　　"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north."

　　“這幢房子，”房地產推銷商說，“既有優點也有缺點。為了說明我是誠實的，我將告訴你們它的缺點：往南面一個街區是一家化工廠，往北面一個街區是一家屠宰場。”

　　"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.

　　“那麼它的長處呢?”預備購買房子的人問道。

　　"The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."

　　“它的好處，”代理商說道，“就是，你總能分清風是從哪邊吹過來的。”

　　篇二

　　Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both!FLATTERED?

　　Don't Be! It was sent to me. I just wanted you to read it.

　　漂亮的臉蛋能吸引眼球但是好的人品能吸引人心。你很幸運的同時擁有這兩方面!被恭維了?

　　少來了!這個短訊息是送給我的。我只不過想讓你看看罷了。

　　篇三

　　Can u pronounce good English? Read along: woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, poof, woof, woof, hoof, loof, roof, shoof, Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking.

　　你的英語發音很標準?讀下去：woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, poof, woof, woof, hoof, loof, roof, shoof, 測試結果：你是一條好狗。現在可以停下別叫了。

　　篇四

　　If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money... wait for your salary.

　　如果你感到孤獨，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要擁抱，我做你的枕頭。如果你想要快樂，我做你的微笑。如果你想要錢……等著發工資吧!

　　篇五

　　小心我會宰了你

　　If u hide, I'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, I'll search 4 you. If u'll leave, I'll wait 4 u. If days take u away 4m me, I'll fight 4 u.

　　如果你躲起來，我會去找你。如果你不見了，我會尋覓你。如果你離開了，我會等你。如果日子會把你帶走，我會為你戰鬥。

　　But, if u stop sending msgs, I'll kill you.

　　但是，如果你停止發簡訊息，我會宰了你。

　　篇六

　　Every morning I pray 2 God that everybody should get a friend like u,...

　　每天早晨我都向上帝禱告：希望每個人都能夠擁有像你這樣的朋友……

　　Why should I be the only to suffer...?? 為什麼只有我要忍受有你這樣的朋友?

　　篇七

　　上帝曾經答應我

　　Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 world peace. That's impossible, he said.

　　有一次上帝來到我面前答應了我一個願望。我說我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他說。

　　Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said, "Let me try world peace".

　　然後我請讓你變聰明。他說：“你還是讓我試試讓世界和平吧。”