兒童趣味英語笑話三則

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　兒童趣味英語笑話：養生之道

　　An old man of seventy-six went to a doctor to request a general check up as to the state of his health.

　　The doctor looked him up thoroughly, and then told him: "Everything is fine." As the old man paid his fee, the doctor asked him: "Have you followed any regimen to help you keepphysically fit?"

　　"Well," replied the old man, "when I was married fifty years ago, I made an agreement with my wife that when I lost my temper and easily got angry, she would remain silent and when she lost her temper, I would leave the house. So for over fifty years I had enjoyed a fine outdoor life. That no doubt is the season why I can keep physically fit."

　　一個76歲的老頭去找醫生給他做一次常規體檢，以瞭解他的健康狀況。

　　醫生給他仔細檢查後告訴他：“一切都很好。”老人繳費的時候，醫生問他：“你有什麼養生之道幫助你保持健康呢?”

　　老頭回答道：“哦，50年前結婚時我就和妻子約定：當我生氣了，容易發怒的時候，她要保持沉默;而當她生氣時，我就出門去。於是我得以享受了50多年美好的戶外生活。這一點就是能夠使我保持健康的原因。”

　　兒童趣味英語笑話：自命不凡的學者

　　A pretentious***自命不凡的*** scholar was keen to show off. One day when he was being rowed across a stream, he asked the boatman: "Do you understand philosophy?"

　　"No, sir, " said the boatman. "Then, " said the scholar, "one-fourth of your life is gone." After a while he asked again, "Do you know geology?" "Nothing at all," said the boatman.

　　"Well, that makes one half of your life gone," said the scholar. Just then the boat suddenly tipped over. The boatman asked: "Can you swim?"

　　The scholor said, gasping for breath: "No." "Then your whole life is gone," said the boatman.

　　有個自命不凡的學者和喜歡賣弄。有一天他乘一隻小船過河去時，問船伕：“你懂哲學嗎?” 船伕說：“不懂哇，先生。”

　　學者就說：“那你的一生有四分之一算完了。”過了一會兒他又問：“你知道地質學嗎?” 船伕說：“一點也不懂。”學者就說：“那你的一生的已有一半算完了。”

　　就在這時，小船忽然翻了，船伕問學者：“你會游水嗎?”學者喘著氣說：“不會啊。”

　　船伕說：“那你的一生就全完啦。”

　　兒童趣味英語笑話：沒有必要

　　A man stopped at a place where a subscription***捐獻*** was being raised for the purpose of fencing the cemetery***墓地***. A lot of people had made a donation.

　　The man thought it was unnessary to do so. He said, "I have two reasons. In the first place, no one in the cemetery can get out; and in the second place, no one out want to get in."

　　有一個人在一個地方停了下來，看到那裡正在為墓地建造一道柵欄募集捐款。很多人捐了錢。

　　這個人認為沒有必要這樣做。他說：“我有兩個理由，首先，墓地裡的人沒有一個人能夠出來;其次，外面的人也沒有一個會想進去。”