最好笑的英語笑話欣賞

　　冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,也是一種出現在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語言現象。冷笑話不同於一般笑話,它以其獨特的制笑機制,能瞬間創造出一種特殊的氛圍。小編整理了最好笑的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　最好笑的英語笑話： Mickey Mouse Divorcing

　　Mickey and Minnie Mouse were at court for divorce proceedings. The judge told Mickey, "Look here Mickey Mouse, I can't grant you a divorce from Minnie!"

　　Mickey Mouse was stunned and asked, "Why not???"

　　The Judge said, "I've reviewed all the information you gave to the court, but I can't find any evidence at all to support the grounds that she is crazy!"

　　Mickey Mouse says, "Your Honour! I didn't say she was CRAZY, I said she was f**ing Goofy!"

　　最好笑的英語笑話：How Annoy Your Roommate

　　1. Blast the Phantom of the Opera at midnight and sign along with it at the top of your lungs.

　　2. Smile at the walls constantly and talk and laugh with them.

　　3. When he/she says, "Is it hot out?" Look puzzled and put on your winter jacket.

　　4. Pick up the phone even when it is not ringing.

　　5. Stare at the mirror and start laughing at it. Hey, laugh really hard ok?

　　6.Talk to the goldfish about fat cats lurking around. Then laugh aloud, happy that you have scared it.

　　7. Pretend to be angry and bang the table hard AND loud. Later apologise for the hurt and grief caused to the table. Be sincere and write a letter of apology to the table.

　　8. Ask him/her the time constantly. Every 5 minutes. All night too.

　　9. Roll around the room and behave like a cat. Lick yourself and scratch the floor. Play with a ball of yarn and eat only fish. Meow loudly at him/her when he/she talks to you.

　　10. Buy underpants for him/her and say, "Now we can share!"

　　最好笑的英語笑話：Baby Bear

　　The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with.

　　So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents. When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said "No, I can't live with Papa bear, he beats me terribly."

　　"OK," said the judge, "then you want to live with your mother, right?"

　　"No way!" replied baby bear, "She beats me worse than Papa bear does."

　　The judge was a bit confused by this, and didn't quite know what to do. "Well, you have to live with someone, so is there any relatives you would like to stay with?" asked the judge.

　　"Yes," answered baby bear, "my aunt Bertha bear who lives in Chicago."

　　"You're sure she will treat you well and won't beat you?" asked the judge.

　　"Oh definitely," said baby bear, "the Chicago Bears don't beat anybody."

　　最好笑的英語笑話：The Aging Explorer

　　A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendaryexplorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.

　　The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself."

　　The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same."

　　The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went 'ROARRRR!'"

　　最好笑的英語笑話：Grass Eater

　　A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

　　"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.

　　"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

　　"Oh, please come to my house!"

　　"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."

　　"Bring them along!" the rich man said.

　　They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."

　　The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!"